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July 26, 2005

Comments

L.

So now, for me, the more relevant question --- how do we get people in line at Target to quit asking us, "Is she one of them Chine-eey babies?"

Amyesq

Go us. And *ack* everything I have is orange. Always behind the times, that's me.

Anyabeth

I hate to break it to you, I really do. Green was this spring. Purple is what is coming down the pipe for fall.

Even though green is my favorite color so I hope it stays on the racks a little longer so I can stock up.

cagey

re: adoption - I haven't been able to pull up the article yet - it appears to be overloaded. Hopefully, all the traffic is bringing the b*stards down. Karen at the Naked Ovary had a good synopsis, though. While I would never ask a stranger or someone I didn't know very well how much their adoption cost (notice the difference in terminology I used- adoption cost vs. actual baby. It goes without saying that asking "how much did your baby cost" is rude no matter the intended context), I did ask my friend how much her adoption cost, because I am genuinely interested and knew that there were many, many costs associated with the paperwork from dealing with so many agencies and governments. We are hoping to adopt our 2nd child, I have started researching this and frankly, I would like to be prepared. Just keep in mind that not everyone that asks this question is trying to be an a$$hole. :-)

All this said - I am currently pregnant and was completely FLABBERGASTED when I discovered how inexpensive it is to give birth vs. adopt. It struck me as very unfair at how little adoptive parents are supported - at least in the USA.

re: fashion - this is why I normally just wear black. I can't keep up!

Woolfairy

Its been awhile and I have to say I disagree with you here. I myself have asked someone I know how much her adoption cost because (although she did not know it) we were struggling with 18 months of secondary infertility and were trying to figure out our options. You are judging people for talking about the monetary facts about your adoptions assuming that they always are judging you. Not always true, BTW. And FWIW, we sought neither fertility treatment nor adoption because they were out of our financial reach and likely always will be. So had we not gotten blessed with #2, (and #1) there would be no recourse for us. Just saying.

mortimer's mom

hey woolfairy, it has a been a while!
I'm not sure if your read the whole Blogging Baby things or not. I'm not saying it's not OK to ask someone about the cost of adoption. If it's done in a polite, adult manner, out of earshot of my child. What I am opposed to is complete strangers coming up to me at the mall, while I have my child in my arms, and asking me, in those very words: How much did she cost? *SHE* didn't cost anything. I am capable of distinguishing between a person who is interested in knowing about adoption and buzybodies who can't think of anything to say, so they ask rude questions.
Also, what spun us into action was a comment by the writer of the article, comparing the costs related to adoption to the purchase of a roast beef.

becca

I want to preface this by saying I agree that it was wrong to equate selling a baby with adoption. The points raised in the discussion were valid and, it appears, eye opening for the author. I wonder if you read the "almost a birthmother" story she linked, though. It seems like she was sent a pretty clear message that babies and birth mothers are just a commodity at a time when she was pretty fragile and impressionable. This may explain, just a little, why she may have been flip about the subject.

Jen

I totally agree with you MM. People asking how much ADOPTION costs is way "diff" than asking how much your CHILD cost. Still confused as to why people don't f***ing get it.

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