Dumpling suddenly has a lot to say

Raising a bilingual child means that you have to wait a little longer than most to hear sentences from you kids. They can communicate with words, but they don't really string along sentences until a bit later. Now imagine that this bilingual child didn't hear either of her languages until the age of 15 months and you really are in for a few delays.

From day one, Dumpling made herself quite understood, with signs, pointing, words, but we never got the gems that other got. (I have been jealous of Ping-isms for quite some time now!) Since going back to school in September though, there is no shutting up the Dumpling. She suddenly can talk for hours on end, usually about her all time favorite, Snow White, though Chichi-ella still makes an appearance now and again. But since last week, after we met the SW, I have been trying to have *REAL* conversations with her more often. Not just let her ramble on about her imaginary world, but try to keep her talking about real things.

The heartbreaking part about this is that whenever she has a tantrum and we calm her down and ask her why she is so upset about something (usually something totally silly that really doesn't warrant the reaction she had), she will say "I soooo sad Mommy" and if you press gently and ask her why she is so sad, she will inevitably say the same thing "I no know, but Dumpling very very saaaaddddd"...... now anyone who tells me this is normal 3 yo behaviour is out of their mind. This is 100% pure adoption grief, I am sure of it.

Some of the conversations are much happier though. We have had to put a hat on her to go outside in the last week, but all of the hats I knit last winter are too snug. So today she told me: "it's OK. Mommy make new one. Dumpling give petit ones to baby sister."  this was the first time ever that she strung Baby and Sister together. She's refereed to the Baby before, as in where is the baby, when is the baby coming, where is the baby going to sleep, but never My Baby Sister.... that just melted my heart. And the thoughtfulness that she was going to pass on her hats.... I just melted.

Also, I painted Sprout's room today (pics tomorrow, I hope). And she visited it quite often and asked "Why mommy paint room?" I explained. "You paint my room too?" no darling, I painted your room before you came from China, and now I'm painting this room before your sister comes from China. "Oh, mommy, you so nice. it's Beuuuuuuutiful!"...... That was the most rewarding compliment ever.

PS: not so rewarding was my husband's comment, after I expressed concern that there might not be enough contrast between the main color and the trim color (and an entire day of prep and painting on my part) :"The door knob is a nice contrast"  the door knob! That was already there! Jeez, thanks honey for your support!

Comments

[Tracee]

My Lilly is 4 1/2 and she often says the same thing..."I so sad..."

I'm convinced she picked this up at "school" where they talk about feelings A LOT. She also uses it in the midst of being reprimanded as a diversion tactic. Another tactic she uses to manipulate her punishment or impending consequences is..."I need a hug" often to total strangers!!! This bothers me most.

[Joanne]

She is so fortunate to grow up learning french and english!
And maybe Hebrew and some Chinese language as well. My francais is really really lacking. The thought of trying to learn a tonal language (Vietnamese) makes my palms sweat.
I think its important to try though.
What a wonderful thing that kids have brains that can accomodate all those languages!

[Cat, Galloping]

poor baby. that is sad. she also sounds very sweet, though.

[parodie]

I'd be curious to hear a bit more about how you're doing the bilingualism thing - both languages at home? One at home/the other at school? Inquiring minds want to know! :)

[Michelle]

I think you could be right about the adoption grief. I myself am adopted, and often felt very sad as a small child, but had no explanation for it. Have you read the book "Twenty Things Adoptive Children Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew?" It goes into great detail explaining adoption grief. I found it quite informative.