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April 27, 2007



Poor Dumpling. I hope you and she can sort things out soon. Change is hard, especially on kids.


Oh gawd.... I am sorry to tell you this, but we have been home for 14 months now and my son still wants to know where the "baby sister" he bargained for is....he REALLY thought she was going to be a baby baby, not up and walking and selfish and still needing so much....I can't imagine what it is like for the older sibling. I would recommend the book "Siblings without Rivalry" though...it was insightful for me....


Was directed to your blog with high praise via Motherhood and other Ramblings. Glad I did.
We have SO been there. Well, some of us more than others. Not easy to start up a family this way is it? You are not alone. Every day can use up what ever little energy is left. Talking about it, is the best therapy. Really, I'd like to offer support, but every family is so different, and who am I anyways, to tell you how to run your own life. Will return for lookey sees.


Oh, boy. No great advice, just lots of sympathy. I'm sorry it's so tough for Dumpling.

Heather G

Big hugs Dumpling sweetheart.


oh gosh, sounds like it's really tough. I'm trying to figure out if we're up for adoption #2 with all the new hub bub and the wait and of course my age. And I haven't even begun to think of all these issues as well. Thanks for sharing. I'll be thinking good thoughts and sending good juju to you and Dumpling and the whole darn family.


Oh, wow, V. I'm sure this was really tough both for you and for Dumpling, but also it's really pretty great (in a weird way) that she was able to open up with both you and start dealing with some of that grief. We're going through something similar (along with the sister adjustment thing, although ours is, at least, an actual baby) and while it's so very hard to see your child suffer, what I'm figuring out is that it's also necessary for them to start processing this stuff and dealing with it on whatever level they can. Good for you for helping her to let it out and start to work through things.

Sister Carrie

Gosh, it sounds exactly like my Friday evening. Poor little Dumpling. I hope she is able to keep talking to you.


Yes, great empathy coming from this end.


Oh Dumpling. Big hugs for her, MD, and you coming from this corner of the world.

For what it's worth, becoming a sibling isn't easy -- I remember vividly when I had not one, but two brothers in the span of two years.

Hoping she can keep talking and work through it all.


hang in there, it's tough but at least she is able to at least let you know ( in her way) what it is that she is feeling... hopefully things will calm down as the new routines begin to emerge


Oh man, that is tough on Dumpling. I am glad you are letting her work this out... Hugs to all 4 of you...


We don't know each other but boy do I know what you're going through. My oldest was 3.5 when we brought home her sister, 20 months. Everything was fine when we were in China, but the minute the plane landed and we were HOME, WHOA!!! I'm single, so it was direct one-on-one competition. I didn't help matters, I was depressed and felt that I'd ruined the wonderful life that we had. Then after about three months, #1 realized that #2 thought she was a Rock Star and suddenly being a big sister was pretty cool. It also helped when #2 started to be able to communicate in English because #1 could also TELL her what to do in addition to just SHOWING her. Now, they are best friends. Truly. Each would be miserable without the other. Oh, they have their fights and I work on spending time alone with each of them, but I watch them and know that -- long after I'm gone -- they will have each other, their sister.

Hang in there.

cat, galloping

poor little dumpling is lucky to have parents like you who make such an effort to understand her.


Oh poor little girl. I hope the big adjustment period speeds up so there is a bit more routine and normalcy for poor dumpling.


Oh, sweet dumplingmess. It's hard to grieve for things that don't have faces (China. CF. Diabetes (mine)) I'm glad she has parents who get it, and can hold her when she cries.


This made me a little weepy. Life isn't really fair, especially when you are 4 and don't get to make any of the decisions.

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