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April 24, 2007



Longtime lurker and PAP so I can't comment directly, although I heartily believe that all adoptions are a SN one.

However, I do have a nearly 6 year old daughter who REFUSES to eat anything unless it is at room temp. Warm is even refused. Ideally it should be cold, a coldness that would make all of us refuse to eat it.

I cannot for the life of me figure out this hatred of hot (she loves hot baths)- as she wasn't adopted, didn't have a bad "hot" episode etc.

It drove me to distraction until this year when I simply gave in. I have taught her for school (where she gets hot meals) to move everything round to let the steam out etc and now she will apparently eat something there but not much as by the time she is ready to eat it, they are about to finish.

At home I have to figure in a 10 minute+ period at dinner before she will eat anything. Frequently I give her cold meat leftovers while we have hot.

I did manage to convince her to try some soup the other day but it had to be cold (YUCK).

Just a long ramble to say I understand your frustration! Let her go with it. I'm hoping that eventually she may realize it tastes better mum's way. Perhaps at 18?


Yeah, good one.


Oh and by the way, our MO for #1 is to "cook" food, then immediately throw it into the freezer to cool down. Crazy, but it's what is needed.

Katie J/Maylee Beezir

Thanks for sharing. I do find myself wondering about Buttons in the 9 months before we met. I agree that we're imprinted from our very first days of life. What can we do about it, but go on and parent the best way we know how hopefully armed with some education of the needs adoptees may have.

Again, thanks.

Sister Carrie

Oh, your list of educated guesses is heartbreaking. But I think you're right on the mark.


Beautiful, beautiful post. You are a wonderful mother.


Both Mia and cammie get very very angry. No one really listens to me about it though. I mean, mean. And I know a 10 month old shouldn't be that mean. It is usually only when they are tired and uncomfortable but it is enough for me to know....it is not their personality. Also, they both scream nightly, still having bad dreams and I wish I could ease the pain.

We got our girls young, and they are attached to us. We feel they are really good emotionally and mentally but C and I both agree they have baggage that other kids just don't have. We gladly will work through the baggage and I think that is something people need to know...there is always something....


Yes indeed.
And a light bulb over the head moment for me with the origin of the scars our little one has!
Good work.

Pink Devora

Wow, that is very insightful thinking. Hope to hear about more progress.


Yes, that is an excellent list of educated guesses which has me cringing and thinking I must rethink everything yet again. A good process, but a painful one.

I agree with you. Yes, yes, yes.

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