« Home Sweet Home | Main | A Very Big Day For BB »

August 21, 2007



I say if you think she is ready for it then do it! It might be just what she needs and enjoys.


I think that you know BB much better than anyone else, and would not take this step unless she was ready. And? If it doesn't work out you could always decide to stop sending her and resume at the 18 month mark.

Take care.


Oh my gosh, you are repeating our story. We decided to send Ryleigh back in May for the VERY same reason. She would say da da da? and we would be "Yes, we'll get you one" LOL. It was pretty bad. All of our friends would look at us like we were crazy. Well, it worked. She's talking GREAT now, I mean, not as well as my son at her age, but so much more clear, and no da da da's anymore. Good for you guys and good for BB! She will love it and if she doesn't, you can quit.


Congratulations on the progress with BB! That is tremendous from where you started, though I didn't previously know about the attachment to the caregiver-celebrate!
While I take attachment parenting seriously, I think the recent discussion on APC reminds us that it is a young, evolving, area of study, and there is definitely a lot of room for parents to be intuitive about the needs of THEIR child. I also think socialization is very important. Reading the books to prepare for adoption, I recognized some of my own child in passages about dissociation, probably related to being different-but my mother's fierce instinct was that regardless of how much I cried and complained, I needed the socialization, and she kept putting me out there. Now I manage to give talks in front of large groups on a regular basis for my profession-who would have thought? Good wishes~lmc


It seems to me that you know BB more than any of us and if you deem her ready, then as her mommy, I'm pretty sure you know whether she can handle it or not! No flaming from me!


Dude(ss), our kiddos were in daycare 2 months after we got back.


preschool helped our daughter's speech in a way. She has had therapy since we have been home (almost two years). This year, she started in the 3 year old class at our church's preschool. I told the teacher that I expected her to verbally ask for what she wanted and answer verbally and for them not to give in. In only two weeks I could see a huge improvement. She is coming along so great. Of course, being home with me all summer helped in other ways too, in that I could individualize my time with her and teach her ways to answer and use sentences. But interacting with little ones your own age has many advantages. Since starting this year, she now cuddles dolls and plays pretend with them, something she never did before.
I think it is a good choice.


What flaming?!? You thought it through, you looked at what would be best for BB, you considered her particular situation and personality, you decided to trust her, and you are ready to change your mind at the first sign of distress. The only flaming I would see would be the light of a candle lit in honour of a couple of caring, loving, informed and supportive parents. We are talking about 2 mornings a week here, not boarding school! ;o)


No flame here. We have to use daycare, at least part time. We don't have the option to stay home beyond 3 months of NON PAID leave. I'm the primary income person in our house, so hubby will stay home a few days a week. We do what we have to do. You know BB and it's obvious you feel she's ready, and that she'll benefit. It's ok, really.


None here either. And I might have been a few years ago. (OK, maybe no flaming, but a little quiet judging - bad me!) But Really, you know your daughter, you know what your family needs, and we make the best choices for our families based on the circumstances our families are in. DS #1 never went to preschool. DS#2 isn't going yet, but I'm open to the possibility. We can't pray at the altar of perfect forever. Besides, perfect is some arbitrary thing that changes as our culture does. If your outcome is happy kids and happy parents, then something is working. And that is perfect.


Why should you be flamed? Send her to pre-school. It isn't like you stop parenting her. She may enjoy getting to play with other kids and having attention from other adults. If I were able to keep Glenys with me I would still have her in a mother's day out. Everyone needs a break and they need one from us too.



Katie J

Flame! Flame. Flame? Wait...no flaming here. I think you know what's best for your kids and you certainly think it over before you do it. I've also heard that it's pretty normal for children with older siblings to have some speech delays for exactly the reasons you mentioned.

I am feeling some guilt about sending Buttons to school this year and she's been home for over 2 years and is almost 3. I know she's ready and I suppose I'm ready too.

Anyway, great job.


Sounds like a great thing to do to me. And your therapist recommended nursery school for her. She isn't going everyday, all day so I don't see any problem.


You know your girl best -- sounds like a well-thought out decision. She'll probably love it and if it doesn't work, you can always change your mind. My girl is off to kindergarten in 2 days (sniff sniff). She's ready, but am I?? Take care


My philosophy....give it a whirl. If it's not right, you'll know. Every child is different. What didn't work for Dumpling may be just perfect for BB. Or not. But you're smart. And a wonderful mama.


You know your child best. What works for one will hardly ever work for another. Let you instincts be your guide. They hardly ever let you down.


Delurking to say "go for it!" You are her mom and you know what's best...if it isn't working-you'll know that too! Nothing ventured, nothing gained!


u go girl and do what is best for your family!


Delurking to tell you that if you think she's ready, that's all anyone needs to know. I think you are so brave to recognize that BB would both enjoy and benefit from regular, structured time away from you. My dd was 14 mo (and had been home for 4 months) when she started preschool. I wanted two days a week, but the only spot they had was in a MWF class. I agonized over sending her at all but she loved it. I learned not to care at all if she learned colors or animal sounds or whatever -- for us it was just an accomplishment for her to go and have fun, knowing I'd come back for her. So if that's "all" BB does, she'll do great. And now that dd is about to start her 2's class, I know that the biggest advantage for her this year is the positive peer pressure from being with other kids. She always has a mini-explosion of words after being around other kids, and I'm hoping seeing other kids use the potty will encourage her to try. These are things I'm paying for when I pay tuition -- the "academics" is just a nice extra as far as I'm concerned.


I think you should tell anyone that criticizes your decisions about how to best parent your children to go piss up a rope. I mean, Jesus H. Fenimore Christ, is there anything more annoying than someone second-guessing your decisions about your children.

Ang :o)

I hope it goes well! You know what's best for her! The way I look at it, if you send her and it doesn't work, you can stop. If you don't send her you'll always wonder if it would have helped and possibly been the best thing for her! Go for it and take it day by day. Good luck!


We are doing the exact same thing. Our little one has been home 1 year and speaks very little. She is going to nursery school 1 morning a week and if two were an option I might consider it. She has attached and sort of needs some time to play with kidlets her own age. I think it will be worth a try. Good luck to BB, she'll have a blast.


E (22 months) has been home 9 months and she starts nursery two days a week next month. We've spent some time there and she loves it. I would go so far as to say she needs it. She's a very bright kid and loves being around other children. She's at a stage where she's so hungry to learn that we can't keep up at home! She's also very strongly attached (recognising that attachment is an ongoing process). She's been spending two days a week with my SIL since May and it has had no negative effect on our relationship at all.
Bottom line - you know your kid and if you can see she's ready and you're open to rethinking should stuff come up...do it. I bet she'll have a great time.
There is no one size fits all with adoption. Seriously, The Adoption Police need to get a real job.

The comments to this entry are closed.