Mortimer's Mom

Surviving the 5-day weekends

3 down, one to go! The way the Jewish holidays fell this year, school was closed every Thursday and Friday in September, and most Wednesdays, it was early dismissal... yeah, it sucks!

But with Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Sukkot under our belt, I feel pretty capable of handling the last 5 day weekend coming up next week... NOT! We will instead probably high-tail it to the northern-kibbutz for a few days of "disconnect" from reality.

This past weekend, we kept the little devils darlings entertained by buying a Wii.... I know, not a very religious way to spend the holiday. Blame in on Bionic-Grandpa. He has one and Dumpling is getting to be quite good at it. I've never owned a video game in my life, unless you count the original Donkey Kong on my Commodore 64 (I can still "sing" the sound emenating from the cassette tape you had to load to play that thing!)

Anyhow, it's been quite rainy aorund here, so we took the kiddos to a very big mall. Dumpling was in desperate need of new pants that actually covered her ankles and calves. And on the way out, the music store happened to have Wiis in stock. They tend to be a little hard to come buy, so what the heck, we bought one!

And today, we hung out with the Flintstones. Bam-Bam turned 2. It was so much fun to have the girls all playing together. I see Wilma quite often, her new business is across the street from my store, but the kids don't get to play together nearly enough. It always takes Dumpling and Pebbles a little while to warm up to each other, but then, it's like 2 peas in a pod. There is a bond there, it can't be denied.

This party was also the best way to make Sunday afternoon go by faster! Because we have painted, we have play-do'ed, we have gone to the park, we have ridden bikes, we have read and we have exhausted every idea mommy and daddy could come up with. Thank goodness there is school tomorrow morning!

Maximum Capacity

I don't know if the CCAA would approve us for a 3rd adoption, but it wouldn't work out anyways, there is officially no room in the Sukka for one more person! If everyone we invited comes tonight, we will attempt to fit 18 in there, 10 kiddies from 2 to 14 and 8 adults, ages unknown.

The mural has a new addition this year: a family portrait which now includes Beach Ball. Before you congratulate me on my artwork, don't! I totally surfed the web until I found an illustrator I loved and imitated the style to get our family.

I still have to add color to it, but believe it or not, there is actually a maximum amoun t of things I am able to do in a set period of time, and if my guests are going to eat tonight, it's black outline for now!

Speaking of cooking, BB helped me bake this morning. And by help, I mean, she had some early tastings....

the Tribe takes over Home Depot

With Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur behind us, it's time for my favorite of Jewish Holiday, the most Martha-Stweartish of all, Sukkot, in which we built a temporary dwelling, decorate it, and eat it in for a week. It's got power tools, decorating and entertaining, what's not to love? Ironically, it's one of the least celebrated holidays by non-practicing Jews, because lets face it, if you rarely make it to services, you aren't too likely to built a hut on your deck!

But building is my thing, and so, I totally took over this holiday and go full-on every year. On Sunday, it was a super sunny day, so we decided it would be the perfect day to find the panels in the garage and bolt them to the deck. After 6 years, I've got it down path and with Hubs' help to carry them, the whole thing took just over an hour. But we needed new roof supports this year. The mis-matched sticks and trim I had been using just wasn't going to hold up our new Tsach', so I headed over the the Depot to buy me some 12 foot long 1x2. And then, I got to the lumber section.... Jews everywear! Religious women in long skirts and wigs carrying 2x4s, Learned men with beards dispensing advice to the young and modern guys who were there on behalf of someone else, it was quite the sight!

I was standing in front of the 1x2s, looking for 12 foot-long ones, but kept only finding 8'. This Rabbi was standing there, helping a couple of young guys so I asked him if he knew where I could find 12' ones. At first, i don't think  A) he expected me to talk to him B) he thought I looked like I should be building a Sukka. But he got over his shock and then tried to convince me that 8' was plenty long. When I assured him that I in fact needed 12' lenghts because my Sukka was 12 feet by 16 feet, he was dumbfounded.  "It's Kosher?" he asked. I assured him it was. He couldn't really believe it. I think I pretty much impressed the heck out of him!

So the Sukka is up and being updated. The mural will have to feature BB this year. I will show you some pictures as soon as I get it done.

desperatly seeking poo-related assvice

Things with Beach Ball are taking a turn for the bizarre and if you know how to help, please let me know!

By and far, we have avoided big messes in our house: no puke, no runny poos, etc. Lately though, Dumpling has been having crazy nosebleeds that have required an ER visit. She is fine, we just need a major humidifier in her room and lots of polysporin. But as if spewing blood all over the main floor wasn't enough, we are now faced with smearing of poo.....

Over the last 3 days, Beach Ball will wander off, poo in her diaper, and then proceed to reach in, take it out, smear it all over her arms, legs, belly, and then whatever she can reach: floor, walls, counter, etc. It is, frankly, gross beyond words. She isn't upset, she isn't mad, she just reaches in and goes for it. (not if we are there. If we are there and smell the poo, we change her before any thing happens, but she sort of likes to hide now, a new thing). When she does start to freak out is when we have to wash her afterward. Oh my lord. The bath/shower just sends her into a tizzy. I tried to explain to her that if she doesn't touch the poo, I won't have to do this, but have you ever tried reasoning with a 2 year old?

OK, armchair psychologists and seasoned parents, go for it. Tell me what's going on, how to deal with this. Because poo, on the walls... yeah, not so much!

5 day-weekends should be banned

Seriously. 5 days of holidays and weekends and no school... SUCK! Everyday, Dumpling would ask if today she had school. And everyday, I sort of wished she did, because I ran out of holiday-appropriate activites by Friday morning.

We took both kids to services on Thursday and it went OK. I mean, they didn't stay in their seats more than 10 minutes at a time, and thank goodness my friend is the person who sits next to me, so we were able to be on either side of them, so they didn't bug more people than necessary, but still, they found ways. Like the ladies in front and behind us. Though if you stick to tiny pony-tails on top of Beach Ball's head and dress her in an adorable Gymboree dress, the people are so overwhelmed by the cuteness, they are mostly willing to forgive the incapacity to sit still.

Ususally, after High Holiday services, I rant about the fashions. A lot of the younger crowd at our Synaguoge dress like they are going clubbing. But this year, it wasn't so bad. What was bad was the shoes.... holy crap! I will not be buying any of these!

someone was actually wearing these Olsen-Twins nightmares....

Party like it's 5768!

Shana Tova! See you in a couple of apple and honey-filled days!

Burst bubble at IKEA

Just left IKEA with 3 heavy boxes containing metal lockers.... Standing in front of the trunk of my cute hybrid SUV **, contemplating the best way to get said boxes into the trunk. Two cute guys in their twenties walk by. One has his hands full of stuff (they longer give bags at my IKEA), the other comes right over and asks if he can help but doesn't even wait for an answer and nicely puts the boxes in the car for me. I happen to be rocking a cute skinny jeans outfit and can't help but be a little flattered... Then his friend dropd one of the things he was balancing on his pile, so I pick it up, its the least I can do.. And he says : "Thank you Ma'am!"

Bubble burst, right there in the parking spot reserved for hybrids, right by the door... (**how cool is that, the hybrid spot??)

Email on the go, sent by TELUS

live blogging the end of Britney's carreer

ok, so I had wine, but DUDES! she lipsynched OUT OF SYNCH, in a glittery bathing suit, and didn't know the choreography!!!!!!!! This was the best thing on TV!

Even Rhianna was laughing at her!!!! (Shut up! I know who Rhianna is!)

Edited to Add: and Now Sarah Silverman just nailed the final nail in her coffin.....

ETA#2: I am officially too old for this.... It's soooo Sensory Overload! The tables light-up, it's in a casino, the main stage isn't very big but there seems to be 2/3 other smaller stages... I'm getting whiplash...

ETA#3: The Foo Fighters look as old as I feel... wait, we are probably the same age..... anyhow, they look like the parents took over the kid's band practice. And big suprise... 50 and Kanye, together on stage... come on! I don't know their music, but their stupid rivalry these last few weeks was PR manipulation by first year PR students...

Why is Beyonce wearing a gold toga? and who is Chris Brown? I sort of like the song I just heard.....

ETA#4: I  soooo didn't mean Chris Brown! I know that song, it's soooo annoying! Some white dude was signing a really cool bluesy tune going into the commercial and Chris Brown's name was there... Also, apologies to my readers with feeds, I know it will show a thousand updates. Also, I am hitting refresh on a few favorite gossip sites so much, I crashed my IE..... maybe Microsoft is trying to protect Britney!

ETA#5: actually, Chris Brown dancing old school a-la MJ was kinda cool. And I take comfort in the fact that Puff-Daddy looked as old as i feel too! Dude looks old enough to be their fathers! (And I know he gave up Puff Daddy, but I am uncool like that.)

ETA#6 Justin Timberlake just admitted he felt old being there! If he's old, I'm freaking ancient. That's it, I give up on this. I was what I wanted to see, peace out!

Had to come back just once more to say: Pamela Anderson looked great! But like a mom! In a respectable dress that covered all her major erogenous zones... hell = frozen!

The New Me

Dumpling has officially been in pre-K for a week now. And BB had her first visit of the nursery school program today and starts tomorrow. This has caused MUCH upheaval in our household, especially with regards to my morning schedule.....

I am not, nor have I ever been, a morning person. And bless her heart, Dumpling understood this and never woke up early. i remember her not waking up til 8 for a really long time, then it was 7:30. BB was more of a 6:30 kind of girl, but her daddy was kind enough to tend to her during that phase. Though lately, she was catching on to my incapacity to move in the morning and wouldn't budge til 7:05, at which point she would be content to lie next to me in bed for 30 minutes.

But Dumpling's school now starts at 8:20. And we are in a car pool. In which we drive her and the backyard neighbour (not the porn people, the ones next to them) every morning. In exchange, the little girl's mother will bring them back 3 days a week (she has extended program 2 days, which Dumpling doesn't. I don't mind. I have to drive to work anyways, so it all works out)  What doesn't work out so well though is getting myself and Dumpling ready, fed and out the door by 7:45.  We have to get up before 7, get dressed immediately and fix her hair, then she gets 30 minutes to eat breakfast. That's really pushing it for a kid who requires so much cajoling to eat 5 bites. Thankfully, the faux-tivo can play Curious George at anytime, so we are not bound by the fact that it only starts at 7:30. We watch the previous day's episode and she doesn't even know it!

I have had to sacrifice style in the past week. I have gone to work in what can best be described as a homeless Sarah-Jessica Parker, combining cute things with boring stuff that just happens to be on hand. If I lived in a predictable climate, I would lay out my clothes the night before. But since we don't know what the weather will be from a minute to the next, it is impossible to plan the night before.

I am, however, still washing my face twice a day. I missed about 3 washes, that's it!

Hot-Stepping into Fall

You all know I am a self-processed shoe-aholic. I love shoes, though probably not as much as Mrs. Fibgy, but still..... And you know I can't stand those rubber shoes everyone is wearing these days.... They are OK for kids, but otherwise, for the love of Jimmy Choo, give them up!

Anyhow, the lovely people at Easy Spirit understand that the mom-on-the-go can't wear her fancy stilettos everywhere, but doesn't want to sacrifice style completely. Just check out their Wedge Clog to see what I mean. Cute right? Well, wouldn't you like to try to win a pair?

That's right! Right here, on my very own little corner of the blogosphere, Easy Spirit is giving away 2 pairs of their lovely new fall Clogs. Just email them your name, address and shoe size and enter to win. I'll announce the winner right here on Sept 20th and the shoes will be delivered courtesy of Easy Spirit

So much TV, so little time

What have I been up to this summer, after the kiddies go to bed? I've been downloading and watching illicit TV programs that Canadian channels haven't picked up, or show months after they aired elsewhere. And thanks to the iPod dock that hubs bought me for my bday, I don't have to give up my laptop and can surf the net WHILE we watch the shows! Wow! (it does take a bit of extra time to convert the .avi files into mp4s, but it's worth it)

First off Hubs and I both keep up with Top Chef, which we love. And The Closer. We both really like that show. Hubs tried watching Flipping Out with me, but the dude is just too crazy for words. Personally, I think the entire thing is a joke on the viewing public. How can somebody so nutso get a TV show????

My personal favorite up til now had been The Tudors. It won't start airing til fall here in Canada, but I watched the whole thing. I know some people are upset about historical inaccuracies, but here's the deal: I went to French Canadian school. We learned about Napoleon. What I know about English Monarchy you can fit on a postage stamp. Which is ironic, because the Queen is technically our Monarch as well..... Anyhow, I don't care if Ann Boleyn didn't really have blue eyes, I am loving the show.

And then, something really weird happened around episode 3.... The dude who played William Compton... he started looking really familiar. Not in a "he was in a Touch of Pink, which I saw" familiar, but in a "he drinks Sleemans Dark and a friend of mine made out with him" sort of way. It was really weird. And since I watched the episodes late at night in bed on the iPod, I couldn't Google him immediately and then I would forget in the morning. But at episode 7/8, when the plague hit, I couldn't stand it anymore and I Googled him. His imdb page didn't list too many credits, and while some of them were familiar, that is not where I recognized him from. But then, I saw that he was doing a business degree at Concordia when he was first cast.... and then I became totally convinced that the does in fact drink Sleemans Dark and that a friend of mine has in fact made out with him, because although they don't give his age anywhere, we would have been in college about the same time. And there used to be a guy we lovingly refereed to as "the guy with the eyes and the girl's name", which he totally fits the bill for.... Mind you, it would have been 12-15 years ago and I was probably very inebriated at the time, but I am going to go  with my gut on this and say he used the drink at the same bar I hung out/worked at.

And now that I have finished watching The Tudors, I have 2 new obsessions. One hubs and I are sharing, namely a Brit show called The Restaurant, in which 9 couples (not necessarily married) compete to win a restaurant. Sounds like Hell's Kitchen for couples, but it's more like Top Chef for amateurs. We've only seen the first 2 episodes, but we are already really into it.

My second obsession is Heroes..... To all the people who have loved it since the beginning, I must apologize. I don't know how I missed it the first time around. It must have been on against something else and I never got around to recording it. But I get it now. Holy crap do I get it!!!! I'm only on Episode 7, but I am stealing away moments in the day to try to move along. This morning, I got to work really really early (mental note, blog about the ungodly hour at which we have to get up now that Dumpling has to be in school by 8:20) and I watched half an episode, then I finished it at lunch...... I gotta get through all of them before it comes back in the fall!

PS: tomorrow, I whore my blog out and give free advertising... shoe lovers, check back in....

Buzy Buzy!

A 3 day weekend.... what to do, what to do????

First off, Dumpling now eats lunch at school, and they asked for a cloth placemat daily. Since it's a Kosher environment, I figured she would need 2, one for meat, one for dairy. I was just going to take a big placemat and cut it in half, but then, I figured I could do better. For the details, head over to the craft blog.

 

We also took the kiddos to the farmers market. it's always buzy there, like during berry season, but I have NEVER seen it as buzy as during TOMATO season. Wow! the italian families buying vats and vats of tomatoes, filling the trunks of the cars! I simplly couldn't resist and came home with this small 30+ pound bag of roma tomatoes. It took me about 4 hours of prep and 2 hours of cooking, along with the biggest plant of basil I have ever seen (it was as tall as Dumpling and as wide as Beach Ball!!!) to turn these tomatoes into a 10-container batch of homemade tomato sauce. We had it for dinner, it was delicious.

Corn is also in season. Beach Ball likes corn....