I'm afraid to say I'm finding it very hard to let go of yesterday's incident. It shouldn't be so hard, but it is, and I'm trying to figure out why.
In the end, I know who the person is, I withdrew from the swap so has to not have to interact with her (can you imagine? she was going to send me her quilt?!? like I would have wanted it after that!) but it is still upsetting me. Here is what I have figured out thus far:
I blog because I enjoy it. I enjoy putting down the goings on in my life. I'm not a paper/pencil kind of journal girl, so electronic it is. I love that if I don't remember when something happened, I can just search my own archives and find it. So the obvious answer would be to password protect, right? Wrong, at least, not for me. Because I have met some really great people through blogging. Some are still only "in the computer" and some are real life friends. Heck, I'm just about to leave for Texas to meet up (for the second time) with one of my very very first on-line friends. We've known each other over 5 years.
So if I were to password protect, this would be it. The people that I know now would be the only people I would ever get to meet. And while I have met some terrific people thus far, I think there are still more great people to meet. Just this year, I found Funky and Delightful and we've been sharing a lot of DYI ideas. And A Girl's Gotta Blog and I plan to meet during Passover. (I am purposely not linking to anyone. This post is not about that)
Sure, some of these friendships didn't work out. Some people just moved on. Others just stopped replying to my emails, which I admit, stung quite a bit, especially when it was people that I thought I was actually good friends with. But people move on, and that's why I feel I need to keep meeting new ones.
Also, along with the Kellie Pickler Google searches, some people find my blog when they are desperately searching for answers after bringing home a little petrified child from China. And in the middle night, when they just can't figure out what to do and string along a Google search that goes something like "adopted child china won't sleep hurts mother throws-up" or any combination of those words, and they find my posts. And then they find the ones months later, when things have settled and life does in fact get better. I feel that those posts need to be public. I can't put a password on those.
So I remain unprotected. But does that mean I have to open myself up to a drive-by? Criticism is one thing. A pure slap in the face, kick in the groin is something else. Why do people do that? I can honestly say that while I may I left a few comments over the years that might have engaged in discussion, I have never just ripped someone for the heck of it. If I felt that I really, really needed to communicate my extreme displeasure with someone, I might have written to them personally, off their blog (most of the time, after writing the email, I just hit delete. Because writing it down made me feel better, so there was no point to actually send it). But I would never just rip someone in their comments section. I think that just goes too far. (over a quilt! A freaking toy blanket!)
The easy answer is to just delete Jayne's comment and forget about it. But that's also wrong to me. It happened. I can't pretend it didn't. I read it and it stung. And so it stays up. And for some reason, I keep rehashing it, rehashing the whole purpose of blogging. But at least I'm doing it while sewing.