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July 22, 2008

Comments

lisa

I'm sorry you don't have the outlet you need. I have reviewed some of the same options you outline and decided that for me, it works to have a semi anonymous blog in that no one can google it, no names on the blog- but most of my readers know who I am-and many of my neighborhood friends read it. It gets awkward sometimes, but I ask people to let me know if I say something that really bothers them-but to remember that blogs are 1 dimensional. Because with so many readers, you are always going to say something that hits someone the wrong way-even when I just complain about cyclists going through red lights!
But I think it's weird that former friends read. I feel a little awkward that some of my readers have pw blogs that they haven't invited me to-but that's a little different in that I don't have a relationship with them and my blog is public. I think I know what you are describing, and that sounds very uncomfortable.
I know you have a lot going on right now, and I hope you can find what you need. ~lmc

Justine

I don't have a magic solution either - sorry but I must admit that my struggle on my blog has been the same - I am occasionally desperate to talk about how things really are - the good and bad of adopting older kids and such but I can't because of the who reads it. I to have toyed with the password or new blog thing and can't decided what to do either. Speaking of which I have to go and stop the boys from killing one another - good luck

OmegaMom

I know you've got some tough stuff going on, and I do wish you could feel safe talking about it. A second, more serious blog might be the ticket, with Lisa's approach of anonymity, and sending out emails to people who you think would be "safe" to read it. If you do, use a different blogging platform, because otherwise you'll find yourself logging in to the wrong one and posting the wrong stuff! ;-)

I censor sex (or lack thereof), names, pretty much anything to do with hubby's work, and the days that I could just kill my dotter and seem pretty shrill to my internal "listener"...

Mrs Figby

Mmmm, yeah, the "dead weight" I spoke of shaking off. Seriously, Stalker Von Ex-Friend, don't you have enough going on in your own life? Move ON, for God's sake. Nothin' to see here.

That, or you and I are extremely dynamic and fascinating creatures, eh, Mortimer's Mom?

chicagomama

Doesn't wordpress have a function where you can password protect some posts and leave others public? Perhaps that would be a solution. I hope you find a solution that works for you, but selfishly I also hope that I still am able to read your blog. Good luck, wishing you the best.

chicagomama

Doesn't wordpress have a function where you can password protect some posts and leave others public? Perhaps that would be a solution. I hope you find a solution that works for you, but selfishly I also hope that I still am able to read your blog. Good luck, wishing you the best.

chicagomama

sorry on the double comment. I'm clearly out of practice on commenting. ;)

Johnny

Ya, I've gone through those 3 permutations.

No good answer.

And yeah, I know the stalker you're talking about.

They can dish it, but they can't take it.

Elise

Having ex-friends stalking your blog sounds really creepy and so junior high - ick!

Maybe starting a new more anonymous blog is the ticket. When we started our blog we decided to keep it very private and focus on our crafting, thrifting, girly endeavors. Good thing too, because we recently found out that there is a whole group of people that work at our company who read it. Sometimes I feel like it's unfair for me to read blogs in which the author is sharing a lot of personal information when I don't do so myself, but I try to comment fairly regularly so people know I'm there and then they can choose whether or not they want me to read them. It's tricky. I hope you can find a way to balance it, and I certainly hope I get to continue reading.

Jenny

I have no answer. I went PW. I miss getting new readers and once in a while when someone links to me I open it up and get a few new people reading but it isn't the same as when I would get the "oh my gosh I had the same thing and this is what I did".

It is tough. I am pw and still censor. I think the longer you blog and the more you become friends with your readers the more you leave out. There are people I wish didn't read but can't take that back now. There are things, serious, that I would love to write about but just skip.

Good luck with figuring out the balance. I think, if I had a few closer friends, this issue wouldn't be so determental to me....i have been around reading for years now would hate to see you go. (as mrs figby, miss her).

take care-Jenny

Karen

I really sympathize with your dilemma (Did I spell that right? It looks so wrong!). I enjoy reading your blog very much. You and Mrs. Figby have been my favorite blogs for quite a while now. (I also admit to being a serious Pioneer Woman fan - that woman has some awesome recipes.) Would hate to lose you as well. I hope that you will allow me to continue if you choose one of the restricted options, but totally understand if you don't. As for the "stalker ex-friend" - eeewwww, creepy. Begone!

Sorry to see you struggling with this, but glad you're still here.

Jodes

like everyone, i don't have any answers but wanted you to know how much i enjoy your writing. i especially love hearing all the creative things you do to celebrate the holidays with your family. hope to keep reading you!

Sister Carrie

I certainly understand, and I've run through the same scenarios. I've taken a similar approach to Lisa's -- my blog is, I hope, hard for real-life people to find, and I haven't shared the link with anyone outside the adoption world. But the risk is still there, and I do consciously edit.

I know a lot of people who have regretted giving the link to family members or co-workers, and had to start a new blog to get away from prying eyes. If you do, I hope you'll send invites to frirends!

Are there any forums in which you feel comfortable sharing? The Yahoo groups are sooo big these days, it's a bit intimidating. But you might find one you're comfortable with.

meg

I feel bad for your situation, it is really tough to find a happy medium- I hope you find the answer-
Meg

Heather  Ann

Well, selfishly I would like to follow you anywhere and I would hope that you would not quit. But, "to every thing turn, turn, turn there is a season, turn, turn, turn......" Yeah, corny! Mrs. Figby was a daily hit and while I think she is making a really great decision for herself and her family, but oh, how I will miss her. You get to be her real friend, so you don't lose. I don't know how you are able to be so open. I do know that since last year's health crisis there has been a change in the blog. I don't know how to not offend some people. Whatever you decide, it is very personal and I understand.

P.S.
I comment enough not to be labeled as a stalker, eh? I would hate for you to think of me THAT way!

3cmum

I'm on wordpress and you can password protect some and not others.
As one who has a very public blog that all my family & friends read - the downside of being all spread around the world, I censor massively. I mean when you want to kill your kids (only kidding but you know what I mean) you really can't post it. And you can't vent about friends etc...So I view it more as a living history log of my life.
That being said as with you, I don't use names.
I know you have some difficult stuff going on so sympathize.
I'm leaning to starting an anonymous blog and sending out some invites but then again maybe not and making it my personal vent area.
Anyways glad you are staying for now as am missing my Mrs Figby fix already.

kris

wow, the world of trolls on blogs must be a bigger problem than i thought. if you did use a pw...CHOOSE ME!!!! just kidding (no i am not). i don't know how you can make a decision on what is best for you except to pick an option and try it. if it doesn't work, try another. maybe there is no 'right' answer but a 'good enough for now' answer. hope things start looking better for you. i have really enjoyed your blog and hate the thought of x-friends being such dicks.

Lee

Long-time lurker coming out to say that I'm SO glad you're not leaving too!!! I really enjoy your blog! Over the last few years, I have followed most of the other KLB's blogs and have been so disappointed when, one by one, they've closed up shop. I totally understand, but it still leaves a gap when you've come to "know" (albeit chosen elements) someone's life and then they're gone. You do feel that you've lost a connection.

Anyway, SO glad to hear you're staying. No ideas on how to handle the current situation, but I hope, whatever you choose, that those quiet followers (like me) can still pop by for a visit.

Janet

Glad to read that you are staying too as I enjoy reading your blog -- all posts, crafty, deeper and otherwise. All of your options sound like good ones, but each has it's own set of issues, doesn't it. I'm sure you'll figure out what you want to do. Take care.

Amanda

Hey.

I am in the same boat (as you know), and just cannot even bring myself to write anymore. There is so much to say, but have no idea how to do that when I feel exposed and unsure of who is reading.

It sucks.

As for the ex-friend? Am right there with you. Freaks me out. (not the same friend, of course...but still.)

Sparky

I rarely comment but I do read and have grown to care about you very much which is weird since we have never met and rarely exchange emails. I'm am happy that you are not ending your blog.

sadylady5@yahoo.com

I'm glad you're sticking around. The Wordpress option might be a good one for you - protect some posts, not others. I've always loved reading you - Mrs. Figby too. I miss the KLB forum, I do. This ex-friend of yours sounds creepy, and am wondering if I know who this is...hmm I'm really sorry you're going through pretty tough stuff right now. It would be theraputic to be able to "vent" without judgement etc. I hope you figure out a way.

C

I'm glad you're not ending your blog. I rarely comment, but stop by almost daily! I hope you find a happy compromise.

Beverly

You will figure this out. If you sent a new URL to people and they didn't want to read it they wouldn't have to but that would not be me, I would ;>.

I am glad that you aren't ending this blog too!!

Wendy O

Been exactly where you are, went invite only and still am having issues because people ask for the password who I don't want to give it too and others I thought I invited and apparently didn't.

Carolyn

It is so tricky. As you know, I'm just a beginner blogger. I've tried to be careful about who I give my blog address to - no family members so I don't have to be too careful talking about my family, and no parents at my school so I can feel free to talk about my job. But still, it is hard to figure out what to be completely honest about and what to censor. Good luck. I always enjoy reading your blog and have gotten so much out of it as a new parent!

meadow

Hi ,

Long time reader here, not a huge commenter but i really enjoy your blog. I am an Irish reader and you are on my daily 5-6 blogs to read. My DD reminds me of your BB!! I hope that you can resolve this dilemma, and if you PW protect I will understand, although will really miss your posts.

adopted our daughter from Hunan in late 2006

Meadow

you know where you are with

I had this dilemma earlier this year...I changed blogs to a more anonymous site and told only a select few blogger friends in an email, in which I specifically asked that they respect my wish for increased privacy and that they not pass the new address to anyone, even those they felt "knew" me. Ask Figby, she got the email.

It's worked pretty well. The one thing to think about is how (as whom) you will comment on other people's blogs as--if you use your new blog moniker, then people who read the blog on which you're commenting (who you may not have been invited along to your new blog) can click on you and find you. That may or may not matter to you. I successfully evaded my stalker (who was my husband's ex).

Is it possible to block an individual IP address? That might be another possibility, but I'm not computer-savvy enough to know.

Julie

My blog is usually total fluff because too much family reads it and there are a lot of things I either just don't want to share with them or don't want to have them on my back about! I've tried having a 2nd blog where I can say what I want but it was just too much to keep up 2 blogs. Now I have a blog where I can PW some posts (Wordpress) and while I still don't discuss much because I'm so paranoid I'll make a mistake or the PW will fail, it allows a bit more flexibility. We should create a blog for all those of us who want to open up but not on our own blogs!! Anyhow, glad to hear you'll stick around and hope I get to follow along, whatever direction you take.

Julie

Wendy

First, big sigh of relief you are not leaving. Though I do understand you not wanting to blog about anything too deep because of the reasons you listed. I only blog surface stuff because I've been way too chicken to post anything too personal, esp. since most of my readers are family and friends. I've tried the incognito blog, but it wasn't fulfilling. I hope you find something that fits for you.

Also, sorry about the serious issues you are going through. I know I don't "know" you, but I only wish you well.

Kikilia

I am glad you won't be closing the blog. I believe you are one of the last "first" blogs I've read since I started reading blogs. All the others have stopped.

I wish you had the blog "outlet" as it were and didn't have to self-censor so much. I have no good ideas- so will leave it at that.

Anyway- just wanted to let you know that I hope you can find a solution to the blogging and thanks again for not signing off permanently. :-)

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