Mortimer's Mom

the prisoner vs the escape artist

we spent a couple of plague-filled days at the Kibbutz. We were going to buy Dumpling her new ski-boots and skis, since she grew so much, but my uncle wasn't around, so we had to skip that. Then we had a flood (something is wrong with the tub drain and it drains to the floor below. It's the second time it happens). And of course, there were the ladybugs. Everywhere. I found a dead one in my bra when we got back to the city Saturday afternoon....

The few times the went last winter with both kiddos, Beach Ball slept in a crib in our room. Dumpling's room is very small, so we figured it was better to have BB with us. But we like to read at night and we're always worried we'll wake her up, so this time, we figured we'd try putting her with Dumpling. The plan was to move the crib in there, but it didn't fit through the doors without being dismantled, which I was not in the mood for. Luckily, we still have Dumpling's old toddler bed, so we put that in there and just moved the matress.

The first night was a disaster. Within five minutes of being in there, BB figured out she could get up and walk about. I know all kids do this. But you have to understand. To this day, Dumpling doesn't get out of her bed if we don't come to get her. She has gotten out twice: once because she had a really scary dream (about a year ago, before she figured out she could just scream and we would come running) and once last month when she woke up with one of her spectacular bloody-noses. The rest of the time, she stays put. Which is why she still wears pull-ups at night, because she can't get the hang of going to the bathroom on her own.

So it was somehow perfectly suited that BB would be the total opposite. She ran out of the bed the second we were out of the room. And then, they talked. And talked. And talked. At 9:30, we gave up and put the mattress back in the crib and ended the sleep-over experiment. We got luckier the second night. We set the ground rules (5 mintues of talking, NO WALKING!) and BB slept in the toddler bed. And at 11 pm, she was standing right next to my bed! I have never been so jumpy in my life! And of course, at 6:00 am the next morning, they were giggling and running around. Funny how Dumpling got out of her bed this time....

As we prepare to order a big girl bed for BB, I am trying to delay as long as possible. Because it will have to involve gates and bells and alarms. Because that girl, she's gonna be getting out of bed, I just know it!

A Very Big Day For BB

Ironic that I wrote a post entitled Leap of Faith last time, because Tuesday morning, Hubs got a very-long-awaited phone call from the Bet Din... They finally were going to be able to get 3 Rabbis in the same room at the same time.... So this morning, our little Beach Ball took her dip in the Mikvah and was converted. I true BB style, she relished the dip was more than happy to dunk 3 times without Daddy holding her. It was quite funny, as the Rabbis were going on and on about how to let go of her under water to that the water would flow all around her without being touched. But they didn't know our little fish! She was too happy to oblige and frankly would have stayed in there for an hour if we had let her!

Taking a big leap of faith

I'm sure I'm going to get raked over the coals for this one......

Beach Ball has been home for almost 7 months and recently turned two. She has made HUGE progress on the physical development level and is on par with other 2 year olds. As far as attachment, I would say that after rejecting me violently at the beginning, she is much more attached at the 6 month mark than Dumpling was. I am NOT comparing them. She was in a smaller orphanage and had been VERY attached to her caregiver, so she had a capacity to attach that Dumpling didn't have. Now, she seeks hugs and kisses and comforting, something that took her sister much longer to do.

We have already left her with my parents and with our super amazing babysitter and she does amazingly well. So........... we have decided to send her to nursery school two mornings a week starting September...... I know! It's crazy! It goes against attachment parenting! I'm going to get blasted in the comments! Whatever, here is our reasoning behind it: She speaks very little. We see a speech therapist once a week and she's coming along. But the thing is, she doesn't NEED to speak because everyone in this house knows what she means and try as we might to not give in to her unless she speaks, it's not what actually happens on a daily basis. We anticipate her needs and give her what she wants without waiting for her to ask. Her sister understands her every grunt and pointing and fetches whatever her heart desires. The therapist feels she'll speak more if the people around her don't understand her. For example, she tries more words with my mother, because she sees her only once or twice a week.

We had a spot for her starting next September at nursery school. But they sent us an email this past week saying that some spots has opened up..... My head started spinning. I felt overwhelmingly guilty for even thinking about sending her. We kept Dumpling home a full year before we sent her. But Dumpling came home in the spring, so the timing was perfect. In Beach Ball case, it was either 6 months or 18 months.... We picked 18 months. But now, 6 months went by and what can I say? I think I'm ready, but more importantly, I think she's ready. We'll see how it goes.... I'm fully prepared to change my mind if she shows any signs of not wanting to go, not liking it, etc.

But starting in September, our not-so-little-baby will follow in her big sister's footsteps and march over to nursery school.......

let the flaming begin!

the 6 month update

So we hit the 6 month mark a few days ago. I don't even know where to start. She is the most amazing, happiest little person. She is not moody in anyway, shape or form. Whereas her sister jumps from one mood to another, Beach Ball is just a squishy ball of happiness. All day, everyday.

She was not a good sleeper when she first came to us. She was frightened of the crib or the alone-ness, I'm not sure. But now, she's a good sleeper. She goes to bed in 2 minutes flat. Putting her to bed used to be a nightmare, now it's like: Bed Time! OK, bye bye! She's out before we can get to the basement. She does, however, like to be up sometime around 6 am.... luckily for her, her father and the dogs are early risers! Dumpling and I, not so much!

A few weeks ago, a local reader/new friend came over****. She happens to be an OT and she played with BB and re-assessed some of her delays. She is very much in the 2 year old spectrum. We still do work on her abs and dexterity and knees, but she's well within the range. She still isn't much of a talker, but lately, it's really starting to come along. She's got lots of sounds for things, lots more words, and she loves to read outloud to herself. She'll just grab a book and babble endlessly.

The biggest change by far is the expression of affection. We have gone from biting and scratching to reciprocical hugs. When you asked for a hug 2 months ago, she was very much like a wet fish, letting you hug her and kiss her, but it was all on you. Now, she squeezes the bejesus out of you when you hug. And she'll just come over and hug and kiss you in themiddle of doing something else! I came believe we've gotten to that point so quickly!

She is delicious and scrumptious. She has a temper, that's for sure. But it's never unprovoked. There are no questions as to her behaviours or reactions. She gets mad when her sister pushes her around or takes things from her. She likes to be with us and hates when we leave her, but she adjusts well to being with others. She LOVES spending the day with her big sister and M the babysitter. So much so that M was hired to spend the day with Dumpling and we would keep Beach Ball with the one of us not working that day, but she's having none of it. She wants to be with the big girls.

That is not to say that she is not afraid of us leaving her. She LOVES to swim and will be a much better swimmer than Dumpling in no time. So we signed her up for private swim lessons at the local pool. During the first lesson, after watching Dumpling with the instructor for 30 min, she was DYING to have her turn in there and all it took for her to go with him was me putting my feet in the water. And she jumped right into his arms and was off for her own 30 min session. But the second time we went, Dumpling needed to go to the bathroom, so we elected to send BB in first. We used the same technique: I sat by the edge of the pool and splashed with her, than suggested she jump into the water and go swimming with the instructor. Oh No. No Way, not this time. It quickly turned into a full blown panic attack that lasted hours. It was so bad, Dumpling went into the lesson, but was so scared of BB's reaction that she had her own breakdown 15 min into it and had to go home. We have had no lessons since.

This Sunday, we celebrate. She doesn't turn 2 until next Wednesday, but we'll party a little early to take advantage of the nice weather and the pool.

*** This new friend got her own referral today. I don't want to say anything or give a link to her blog because I don't have her permission, but let me tell you, she'll be bringing home one YOUNG little baby! Congrats! And I'm so happy we met and I can't wait to lay eyes on your little girl! It's crazy, another family we are friends with got their referral last month and are leaving shortly, and a blog friend got a referral today as well! Babies everywhere!

Bye Bye Mullet

Both my girls had the post-shaved-head haircut when we  met them. When Dumpling's hair grew in, I started trimming her bangs. Now, we have been letting them grow in for a  year because she will no longer allow trims. It's been a big pain. So when we met Beach Ball and she was so cute and round and squishy, I decided I would not trim her hair at all and let it grow in as it may. I remember seing pictures of Shelba's Zorba with this long whispy piece of bang and I thought that would look fab on Beach Ball. And it does. She's got the long piece in the front and the funny Flock of Seagulls wings on the side. It's adorable. What is less adorable is the nice Mullet she was growing in the back. I say "was" because the morning, the whole "party in the back" thing was too much, and I trimmed it. I looks much better.

I added a Dumpling shot for good measure.

Forget Disney, my girls like the Hospital

While my husband's hospital stay was stressful, it seems my girls enjoyed the fancy-schmancy bed and the rolling table.

Also, my GYCO MAY entry is up on Ubercrafty, but I warn you, it's totally lame and very last minute.

UPDATE: the shirt is of course from my store and can be found here.

A little lonely, a little blue

I don't usually talk about my *feelings* because I tend to like to keep things light and dumb. But I have to come out and say that I'm feeling a little out of sorts lately.

It all started with some strife in my corner of Blogistan a  few months back. Somehow, the group never completely recovered and I lost touch with some people. Also, like in any group, there are some people who are closer than others. But lately, except for one or two people, I'm really feeling completely out of touch with my gals. It's not anyone's fault. As Chicagomama pointed out in her great post, people's life situations change, and friendships sometimes fall because of those changes. For me personally, the hardest is when I hear about all the great times some of my friends are having getting together IRL and I haven't been able to get to that level (except of course for the great upcoming visit of some VVIPs).  I feel left out. There, I said it.

I guess I always feel left out. When I became a mom before my friends did, it created division because I just couldn't hang out anymore. It was hard to explain, because people didn't seem to understand that bringing home an adopted child demanded a lot more hands-on attention. The ones with no kids couldn't understand why I couldn't leave her with a sitter and the ones with kids didn't understand why I couldn't just bring her everywhere the way they did. So I felt left out. And don't get me started on the whole French Canadian but Jewish thing..... Left Out.

With BB's arrival, this all sort of came to a head. I was literally house-bound for weeks on end. Didn't see anyone but my husband or parents (or, thankfully, the girls from the store, who can't pass up a good bottle of wine on GA night). And so in that time, I took stock. And really, it made me feel sad. Sad that I don't have more friends. Sad that I can't get together with the friends that I do have, and really sad that some of these friendships probably won't make it through the next stages of changes in all our lives.

Most recently, someone I care about very much announced a long awaited pregnancy. And for the first time ever since making my peace with IVF 5 years ago, I was very, very sad. I am soooooooo very happy for her, really, I am. But it was the first time that I was sad. I don't want to be pregnant. I really don't, so I don't know why I'm sad. It's not about her pregnancy. My kids are wonderful, perfect in their imperfections, they are MY kids. But the loneliness and isolation that I feel made me feel left out of yet another thing. The pregnancy thing, left out, again......

Now I will do something I have never done before: I will close the comments for this entry. Because I didn't write this as a pity-party. Really, I didn't. so I will close the comments, stew in my sadness a little, and come back with something stupid and light, and maybe even a new look....

Big Sister Dumpling

Sorry, there will be no Retro Friday this week, I sort of lost my funny around 5 pm.....

I spent the day mulling over a post about how Dumpling is adjusting to life as a big sister and then she brought the entire thing into focus while I was trying to make dinner: Most Fridays, my MIL comes over to have Shabbat dinner with us. She plays with the kids in the basement while I rush to finish making dinner, and then we eat (we being everyone but Dumpling) and she leaves. This afternoon, Dumpling fell asleep, so I woke her up about 15 min before her Bubby was set to arrive. She was cranky and out of sorts. Just a few days ago, Hubs remarked to me that she had been looking really unhappy, for no apparent reason.

Anyhow, she's downstairs with Bubby and BB, I'm putting the finishing touches on my first-ever duck and I go down to check on them. They are sort of playing on the floor, maybe tea party, it's hard to figure out what they are doing, but the TV is blaring and no one is watching. So I explain to Dumpling that I'm going to turn it off because she already watched her alloted time and it's soon Shabbat and we have to turn it off.

She totally loses it. Like crazy mad, kicking the floor, tries to bite my foot which happens to be right there. I try to calm her down and explain again why I'm turning off the TV, but she's having none of it. So I take her to her room, where I hope she will calm down and we can talk. On the way there, she hits me and scratches me, so Hubs takes over to try to calm her down, because clearly I'm upsetting her.

Fast Forward 10 minutes, I'm checking the food, setting the table, and I hear no noise coming from her room. No crying, but they are not coming back either. So I go see what's going on and find Hubs sitting on her bed, with a heaped Dumpling, shaking and sobbing. I look at him, puzzled, and he whispers to me that he asked her what was wrong and at first, she said the TV, then her shirt was wet, then it's something else. He told her he didn't think that was it and she said the following:

"I can't tell you"

"You can tell me anything, I'm your daddy"

"China" and then, she proceeded to weep and shake and just let herself go completely. We ended up spending about half an hour trying to just get her to let it all out. Needless to say, there was no cajoling or negotiating over food tonight, I didn't bother her about eating anything.

It's really the first time she's ever attempted to talk about her grief. She's asked a lot of questions, she knows the story of how we became a family and she'll sometimes ask us to tell her, but this was a totally new thing.

The last couple of months have been rough on her. She's a girl how likes routine, predictability, things in certain places, order. Beach Ball's arrival has upset the balance of everything. Also, she imagined getting a BABY sister, not a 20 month, 30 lbs toddler who touches everything, moves everything, wants everything. It's like the play-date that never ends. We ask her to share and be nice, but it's not for 2 hours and then the guest goes home. We call them sisters, but for now, they are two kids who happen to share a set of parents and a house. I'm sure sisterhood will come eventually, but right now, poor little Dumpling is feeling out of sorts.

Bach Ball after almost 3 months

Well, wouldn't you know, my mentioning Beach Ball's scars yesterday flooded my inbox. It seems that this is more common that we think, but that nobody has really mentioned it before. I will tell you, it was hard for me to write about. Not because of "where" they are, because I am not afraid to write about labia and upper-thighs, but because it is so private to my daughter, and I'm sure she's just going to love being 13 and finding out her mom blabbed all over the world about her scars down there. If you are newly home from China and are sitting at home Googling scars in the genital area, email me, I'll tell you all about the Beijing doctor's explanation.

We are about 10 days away from our 3 month anniversary as a family of 4. We have come very far during that time. I put both kids to be by myself tonight, hubs was out, and it was no problem. She asked for him, but was quite content with having only me. She is into a major hugs and kisses phase right now. Out of nowhere, she'll just run up to you at full speed and hug you or kiss you. I should tell you that she kisses with her mouth opened and her teeth showing,so sometimes, it's a bit frightening because you are not sure if she's coming at you to bite you!

She could not be more different than Dumpling and their integration into our lives couldn't have been more polar opposites. Dumpling came home in the summer, so we were able to spend a lot of time outside. We have pretty much been house-bound since coming home and it's taking a toll on my sanity. I started staining the deck 2 days ago just to get out of the house. The benefit of staying home so much though has been BB's progress. Keeping a close cocoon around her and getting her used to us and our house before taking her out into the world has really helped her.

But she was about 4 months older than Dumpling at adoption, yet I feel she was and still is further behind in certain things: the knee/elbow thing keeps her from going up and down the stairs, she doesn't say any words at all, not even baby words (mama, papa, caca, that's it!), she can't sort shapes/colors, she can't put wooden puzzle pieces into their holes (something Dumpling excelled at much earlier). I'm not worried, I'm not comparing them to one another, I'm simply noticing that the extra time in the orphanage has a much bigger impact than I could have imagined.

What she does fantastically well is this: she laughs, all the time. She loves to play with FP Little People in every matter possible, she will find a way to climb onto any chair of couch and sit there like a pasha, surveying her kingdom, she loves to pet Lucy's bum (just her bum!). And she loves to eat. Can I tell you again what a pleasure it is to have a meal with a kid that rejoices in every single bite, no matter what you give them? Tonight, she had salmon steak, grilled fennel, broccoli and orange peppers! I just got my HUSBAND to eat fennel this year, and this kid lapped it up like it was candy on a stick! She has no sense of fullness though, so we have to establish how much she can eat before we serve her and then stick to our guns and not let her *talk* her way into seconds (she steals from our plates) but I'm sure the time will come when she'll realise there will always be more food, enough food, and she won't stuff herself.

They Are Both Special

So just after JenEx's excellent post on the topic, Sister-Carrie follows up with an equally poignant one on her daughter and how special she is.

We have been home a little over 2 1/2 months. Beach Ball is amazing. For all the difficulties we had in the first month, we have worked through a lot of them and now, she is the funniest, snuggliest, squishiest baby ever! From ripping my nose off and not letting me go anywhere near her, we are now in the "melt into a squishy ball in to mommy's arms" mode. She just loves cuddling, she loves to be held. She's amazing.

But, it's not all puppies and rainbows. It still isn't. She is a very angry child. So good natured 80% of the time, but do something wrong and she will turn into The Hulk. The amount of anger is totally disproportionate to whatever the situation is. She doesn't express physical pain. Knocks her head hard enough to stun herself but won't make a peep. There are only two situations where she cries: in the middle of the night, when she is asleep and therefore totally not in control, and when she is mad/angry. But the mad/angry cries are more like screams and frustration, the middle of the night cries are pure baby sobs, tears, absolute and total sadness.

I think the reason Jen's post struck such a chord with me is because she was able to give examples (the hot oatmeal) that made me think about my own daughters. Karen of the Naked Ovary once wrote that she found a scar on her daughter that she couldn't explain, and that this physical scar came to represent all the emotional scars she would never know about.

Some things about Beach Ball I can make educated guesses about:

• She never bends her knees or elbows. I saw the kids in the orphanage, they had on so many layers, they weren't able to bend them, so they never learned. When she gets up from the ground, she does it 100% without bending her knees.
• She absolutely cannot stand being in a wet diaper. Well, she has never been in a wet diaper, she used to be in split pants. As a matter of fact, she has some scars from the frost-bite caused by urine freezing on her (my supposition and the educated guess of 2 doctors)
• her "rejection" of me: all the orphanage pictures for the last 18 months show the same 2 nannies. Even if I suppose that before that there were different people, it would still mean that she pretty much had the same 2 caretakers for 18 of the 20  months she was there. So she "rejected" me because she actually had a family. Not a family by our definition of the word, but she lived with 2 caretakers and about a dozen siblings. That was her family.
• She spent 20 months of her life in one room. Sure, they probably played outside a little everyday, but they ate, slept, played, all in one room. And then we took her clear across the world to a house on 4 floors, with seperate rooms for all activities and 2 different rooms for playing. Try not freaking out if you were her.

This has also caused me to rethink some things about Dumpling. For the last 3 years, every single meal has been a struggle. She won't eat. Simply won't eat. We cajole, we negotiate, we encourage, we tried ignoring for a while, it's all the same. One thing that recently struck me is how she will only eat once everything is cold. Room Temperature. She always tells me everything is too hot, even if I didn't warm it more than a few seconds. Somehow, I always assumed she trying to take control. (control is a big thing with her). But after Jen's post, I literally re-examined everything and realised, maybe she NEEDS for the food to be room temperature because either a) that's how they used to give it to her or b) she got burned by hot congee and is reacting to that to this day. How did this not occur to me in 3 years? How did it not occur to the therapist? We always assumed it was a control issue, maybe it's just based on her history.

And this is why I 100% agree with Jen's statement that every adoption is a special needs adoption. The loss of one's birth family is a loss that will impact ANY individual. It doesn't matter if that baby finds a home at 2 days of life (like in a domestic adoption) or at 20 months, that primal loss makes a mark on the slate of who they are. And the more time passes before adoption, the more history is created. Unfortunately for us, there is no documentation of that history. So we must navigate blindly, with educated guesses.

Both my daughters are precious and special, each in their own way. But I must think every day that there are things about them I will never understand and I have to find ways to parent them to the best of my abilities and help them realize their full potential, while being aware of the hidden scars,

A Serious Post

As recently as last week, I was all set on sticking to stupid posts about my shoes and my crafting. But just as quickly as the whole "second best" debacle made me shy away from talking about adoption, 2 blogs have gotten me to reconsider.

First, there is Jen/Chew's story. I really don't want to say too much about it,  you can read it for yourself and form your own opinion. But while you are forming your opinion, please keep this in mind: DO NOT judge her for doing what she did but rather, ask yourself: what would I do if THIS happened to me? And by THIS I mean: the referral of a child who doesn't meet your expectations OR an unsupportive guide OR the lack of communication with your agency OR not being able to get to a doctor OR *enter your own worst case scenario here*.

As you may remember, during our second adoption trip, a father got quite ill and we were all stunned at the lack of assistance we got from the airline, the Chinese in general, etc. Our guide did an OK job, but really, we did everything ourselves except calling the ambulance. So please play worse case scenario and ask yourself how you would get help: Do you know how to reach the Embassy? Do you have your own cell phone (Panda phones are GREAT!) where people can reach you so you are not relying on hotel concierges or your guide to give you messages? Is there someone back home who will be able to go into full-action mode and act on your behalf to get things done, find info, etc.

Ask you agencies a TON of questions: what contingencies do they have? What are their responsibilities? What will they not be responsible for? In our case, we felt that our guide did do OK with SickDad on the plane, but once we got him into the hospital and she was splitting her time between him and the rest of the group, I am the one who called the agency back home in the middle of the night and asked that a second guide be sent so that he would have his dedicated guide at the hospital. Grant it, I have the agency supervisor's home phone number because I am a volunteer there, but each of our travel group has a group leader who has emergency contact numbers to do the same thing.

I am not trying to scare you. I would say that 98% of Chinese adoptions go off without a hitch. But what if you are the one? What if something happens to yours? Or to your health? Or to the baby? Are you counting on your agency to help you, or do you have your own contingency plan? I am not basing my thought solely on Jen/Chew's experience. I can tell you that during our trip, we witnessed first hand something "fishy" with the handling of an adoption. It is not my place to give you the details, but I will say that everyone who had been to China for an adoption before got a really bad vibe from the way things were handled, things that were said and done, etc. This was NOT what you usually associated with an adoption in China. So things do happen. Be prepared, as prepared as you can be.

The other topic that is rolling around in my mind is my good friend jenEx's post that states that "Every adoption is a special needs adoption". For many, many reasons, this is a conclusion that I have also come too. But this deserves it's own post. So read Jen's eloquent post on it and expect my thoughts on it tomorrow.

Passover: an update

the Seders are over. We are still in the middle of the week of Matzah.... it's hard on Beach Ball, she's not her *regular* self, if you catch my drift. Seing as Dumpling eats nothing, the lack of eating Matzah hasn't affected her system. We did discover a new food she loves though: my meat balls. Loves em! Which is surprising, because red sauce is ususally a big no-no. Maybe it's the large jar of grape jelly hat I put in the sauce.....

Here are some highlights from the last five days, some of them not Passover related:

• Beach Ball refuses to sleep. No naps. Stays up for hours after she goes to bed, and then has the energy to be up half the night..... FUN!
• The first Seder at my SIL's house was over by 8:20. For those of you in the know, the official Seder starting time this year was AFTER 8:20, but we were done.  Grant it, it's much easier this way with kids, but somehow, it feels a little wrong.
• The 2nd Seder was at my house, with only one of Hub's sisters and her husband and 2 kids, my MIL and my husband's grandfather (10 in all). We did get to the second part, and we lasted a little later. It was small, but the 4 kids had a great time and participated well. (BB's participation was eating everything I put in front of her)

I made my first turkey ever. I think it looked good:

But then, we had leftovers..... oh my lord did we have leftovers! Try googling leftover turkey recipes... not too Kosher friendly! They either all involve cheese, cream, cream of mushrooms, or noodles/rice, which are verboten during Passover..... I just didn't know what to do with it. So I totally  made something up. I present the Passover Leftover Turkey and Matzah Ball Casserole:

Basically, cut up turkey, mix with brocoli and frozen peas, make a sauce from onion soup mix and chicken stock (from the vat of chicken Matzah ball soup). Cover with Matzah balls (either left over, or in this case, a fresh batch), bake at 350 for 30 min.

Enough with the food though, I know what you want to see is the girls. This is why we call her the Beach Ball:

  Could she be any rounder?

And this is Dumpling, my 4 year old Big Girl, tackling the First Question. The sound isn't great because it wasn't a video camera, but I'm still a very proud Mama.

pardon the interuption

yeah, so I didn't mean to leave you guys hanging like that, but the birthday extravaganza rolled into the family Bat Mitzvah, which is smack in the middle of Passover preparations, so I haven't exactely had a lot of time to myself! Add to that a major step back in Beach Ball's sleep routine: she refuses to go to bed. Flat out, will NOT go to sleep, except for her morning nap, which she eagerly takes, because she's exhausted from all the not sleeping and fighting the sleep! As I type this, we have been attempting to put her to bed for over 2 hours. 2 hours of crying, screaming, cowering in the corner of the crib if I try to soothe her, oh yeah, fun!

But things during the day have actually been fun around here. I was going to make a photoalbum link, but I'm tired and cranky, so you'll get the weird staircase layout effect of typepad (if anyone knows how to force the layout of pics in typepad, let me know!)

Beach Ball Bowling at her sis's party!

Pre-BarMitzvah dinner shot of Beach Ball in her party dress (formerly her sister's partydress!)

BatMitzvah party outfits. (yes, I dressed them in matching dresses. feel free to rake me over the coals now.)

Family portrait (Sch-Mall Hair. Trust me, it was WAAAAYYY worst before I took water and comb to it to try to diminish the helmet effect)

Dumpling's visit to the Matzah Bakery

 

A successful experiment

off topic first: our episode of SradingTpaces was on again today.... it never ceases to amaze me that A) they keep reshowing our episode and B) people email us about it every single time. They Google the nae of the store and write us the nicest emails (though one person today did ask if hubs had been the main Geek on the first season of Beauty and the Geek!!!!!)

OK, so in the great saga of bringing home the Beach Ball, we kept her world very very small: few people, few places, lot and lots of routine and same things over and over again. Which is really great for her. But Dumpling is sort of suffering from the lack of excitement. She is not a kid to stay at home all the time, and since she is turning 4 on Wednesday (Oh MY LORD~!!!! 4!!!!), she is used to a bit more activity than we have been providing lately.

So we did what every adoption book says NOT to do and we went to the country house for the weekend. I know! She's supposed to sleep in the same bed for months and months... But Dumpling was wondering if we would ever go skiing again, and I didn't want her to start resenting her sister.... So we packed up and headed to the hills. She didn't like her crib too much at first, but it's in our room, which seemed to help. She did fall asleep without too much fussing (a bit, but nothing like what we experienced before). It was a rocky night, we woke up a few times, but again, nothing scary. In the morning, she was in good spirits and seemed to take to the house and toys and was very curious about everything.

We put her in the sled and pulled her at the bottom of the ski hill while Dumpling had a lesson. She loved it! Especially when Daddy ran like a mad man and pulled her very fast! And Dumpling still remembered how to ski like a champ, you couldn't even tell she had missed almost 2 months!

We did get one of those FP aquariums for the crib and that seemed to make her much happier the second night. (she has a different music device at home, but she didn't seem to mind it was a different one). She slept much better the second night and woke up in great spirits. Dumpling and I took a mommy-and-me morning and went skiing for a few hours. I think she really enjoyed the one-on-one time and I'm really glad we attempted this experiment. with Passover coming, it might be a while before we can go there again, but at least we know it won't be a disaster!

We rolled a six

And just like that, Lucy is home and Beach Ball likes me again!

It's like some crazy game of Chutes and Ladders. Yesterday, we we slid all the way down, and today, we rolled right onto the big ladder.

Lucy is better. She's not out of the woods yet, but they can't scope her til next week, so she's home with us, where we will cuddle her and scratch her behind the ears, and shove about 15 pills a day down her throath and somehow keep the kids from giving her any table food.

And having Lucy home, everyone is much less tense, much happier, and Beach Ball liked me again today. I had to go to work today, it couldn't be avoided, but when I got home in the afternoon, she was genuinely happy to see me, and we did dinner just the two of us (daddy having gone to fetch Lucy) and she was just fine with it.

Onwards and upwards. No ipod Shuffle today, because the only music I listened to today was Deanna's CD.

Hello Square One.

And just like that, I am once again banished from her room, her bedtime routine, everything. As a matter of fact, she is refusing to go anywhere near her bed. Not for me, not even for Super Daddy.

Routine seems to be pretty key for both of our girls, and now without a babysitter for Dumpling and our beloved Lucy out of the house for the last 3 days, Routine, meet Window.

So daddy is attempting to rock her til she's out enough to transfer her to the bed and I'm digging through my old emails, seeing if any of the already interviewed babysitters are still available (though that's probably not a good sign....) and we are making plans for taking Lucy to some big vet hospital one hour away so they can do a less invasive biopsy sometime this week.

the state of us

We have been home for 4 weeks. Here is a quick update on how everything is going around here:

The Good:

• Beach Ball is no longer afraid of me. She still has a strong Daddy preference, but Mommy can do pretty much anything: feeding, holding, putting to bed, etc.
• The nightly massages were the key. She LUUUUUVVVVVSSSSS her massages.
• Food! She loves food! Any food, all food!
• Dumpling likes her sister, most of the time.  Really, she's doing very well all things considered. It's never easy adapting to a sibling, especially when your new sibling can kick your butt!

The not so great:

• Beach Ball is clearly still adapting to her new life, and she has a big problem with limits and the word No. As in "No, you can't throw yourself down the stairs", "No, don't stab your sister with a fork", "No, you can't have a 3rd banana, your stomach will explode!". Seriously, we try to avoid saying no, using positive wording instead, but sometimes, No is really the only word that will do and boy, she hates it. The fits, oy, the fits!
• Dumpling is bringing up lots and lots of things, like she'll ask for her mom when I'm there and then she'll say, "no, my other mommy" or if we reprimand  her for something (like pushing her sister down or taking away her toy) her first respond will be"you don't want me anymore?", which is obviously upsetting to all of us.

But right now, the matters that are of most immediate concern are that Dumpling's new babysitter just called tonight, after being with us for just one month to say she has to cut back to one afternoon a week. (she comes twice a week) But we both got the feeling that there is more to it and that she is going to slowly stop coming. We are trying to figure it out, because if she does leave, that would be one more person leaving Dumpling's life (we just had a babysitter leave in January without giving any notice).

the hardest one by far though is that our beloved dog #2, Lucy, has been at the vet since early Sat morning. She had been throwing up Thursday and saw the vet then, got a shot and came home. She wasn't better on Friday and had a really rough night Friday night, so we took her to the vet hospital Saturday morning and she has been there ever since. They can't make her stop puking, though she has had nothing orally since, no food, no water, nothing.  They checked, there is no obstruction. So now they are thinking either Irritable Bowel Disease (which would be highly ironic, since I suffered from that for a good 15 years before having surgery 5 years ago) or worse......C....... I can't even think about it. We had to talk about the What Ifs tonight and when Hubs mentioned bringing her home to give her a steak if G-d forbid...... I totally lost it and started crying like a baby. That is not a conversation I am prepared to have with Dumpling right now. I mean, you can NEVER be prepared to have that conversation, but after China and Beach Ball and everything else, Lucy not getting better would just be devastating.

So for now, we hope and pray she gets better, we make a plan for alternative child care arrangements and I watch The Office on my computer, hoping to keep the tears at bay for a little while.

10 times is the charm!

We overcame a BIG, huge hurdle tonight. I put Beach Ball to sleep all by myself! I know, alert the news media!

About 10 days ago, I discovered that she really, really liked massages with lots of lotion. She loves her bath and it's one of the times where she was least resistant to my presence, so I scooped her out of the tub one night and tried to rub some lotion on her. I accidentally poured more than I wanted and proceed to do my take of deep tissue massage on her. And she LOVED it. Squealed with delight. If I were to video tape her while I do this, it would sound like the sound track to a racy  movie!

So we made it an every night thing. Bath or no bath, i would strip her down at bedtime and shake the lotion bottle in her face. Even if she was crying or didn't want me near her, the sight of that lotion would put a huge smile on her face and she actually would lay down and let me massage her. So the first night, I just massaged her and let hubs take over. The next night, I put on her pajamas. But then, she would get unhappy and I didn't push it more than that.

Following my talk with the therapist, I decided to *claim* my daughter and *claim* her bedtime. (the therapist's words) Hubs would hang around and reassure her vocally, but I would do the whole thing: massage, pajama, rocking chair/bottle. When it came time to actually putting her in the crib though, that was one mission I wasn't going to accomplish. We would have a family hug and hubs would take her and lay her down. But tonight, the dogs wanted to go out. And she was in a particularly giddy mood. Also, she has no afternoon nap so she was probably way more tired than usual.

When the dogs motioned they wanted to go out in the middle of her rocking chair/bottle, I told hubs to go ahead, I would try to do it by myself. And you know what? She's been in there for 40 minutes! I'm 90% certain she's sleeping, I don't want to go back to check for fear that the squeaky floors will wake her up, but the Winnie the Pooh music box finished it's cycle and she didn't cry and demand another cycle, so I'm guessing: Mission Accomplished!

Don't worry, I'm fully prepared if this is a one-time occurrence, but people: I PUT HER TO BED, ALL BY MYSELF!

Baby Steps

Everyday, we see little changes here and there. Some changes are very promising. Others are just puzzling.  I wish it was as simple as "1 step forward and 2 steps back" because at least that's linear and understandable/predictable. But this is more like 2 steps to the right, one to the front, oh oh, left left left, then forward again, forward, STOP!  Who knows where you start and where you end up.... What works wonderfully one day is the biggest disaster the next.

The big Therapy appointment was yesterday morning. Basically, she didn't tell us a single thing we didn't already think/know. But to hear it from someone who knows what they are talking about sort of reassured me a lot. It also helped look at everything in perspective, especially Beach Ball's orphanage life. We were fortunate enough to visit it and meet her nannies. But taking what we saw and translating it into understanding her and her behaviour was something we needed help with.

The good news is that lots and lots of signs point to her not only being able to attach, but actually being interested in attaching to me.  She let me feed her and she loves her nightly massage. I am still by far her least favorite person in the house. Daddy is first and foremost. But that is OK.

One of the biggest fears I had were the throw-up fits. When she totally freaks out, she is very quick to get to the puke. But the therapist reassured me not to fear the puke. It's not a good thing for her to puke and we should do everything we can to avoid those fits or stop them before she does puke, but if she does, it's OK. Because it's what I do after that will teach her to trust me. If she gets to the puke, daddy shouldn't come to the rescue or comfort her. It should be  me.  he can be peripheral, with his voice, maybe a touch on the arm, but the #1 comfort-person should be me in those situations, so that she learns to associate me with the comforting, not the tantrum/puke.

Thankfully, we haven't gone to puke level in 24 hours. We were close a few times today, but lots of reassuring, distracting, changing rooms, offering treats, all those things combined helped to end the fits before they were puke-inducing.

Progress!

blood, sweat and tears

Without going into specifics, let's just say that *The Incident*, as we now refer to it, involved all of the above: I bled and cried, Dumpling witnessed it and cried, and Mortimer's Dad has been sweating like a pig taking care of Beach Ball, and I'm sure he's shed a tear of two, watching Dumpling and I sob our eyes out.

What happened was surely unintentional on Beach Ball's part, but it did hurt like heck and did require a bit of first aid. What made it so hard was that Dumpling was right there and saw it. And in her not-quite-four y.o.'s mind, Beach Ball was mean to Mommy, hurt Mommy and she didn't like Beach Ball anymore.

So we spent the next 24 hours explaining in very simple terms about how scared Beach Ball is, how strange everything is to her, how she doesn't know us and how it was certainly an accident. But Dumpling is no dummy and did see some "intent" (she had to walk over to do what she did), so we had a lot of talks about that as well.

We sought immediate counseling over the phone and will be having in person counseling early next week (it's Spring Break here, everyone is away), both for dealing with Beach Ball's actions and trying to prevent any further physical hurt, but also for dealing with Dumpling's emotions, because this new person isn't only taking a lot of physical space, she's taking up a LOT of emotional space, something Dumpling is unaccustomed to sharing.

----------------------------

The good news is that Beach Ball had a check up this morning. No shocker, she is quite healthy, scores 90th for height and 60th for weight on the north American charts (this is surprising to me. I would have believed 90th or weight and 60th for height, but what do I know!!!). She still has to have lots of blood tests and stool samples and the works, but at the ped's office, he declared her fit as a fiddle. She had to get 3 shots, so she's happily napping away now, thanks to a little Tempra. Since Daddy had to go out for a while, we'll cross our fingers she doesn't wake up before her returns. But if she does, I've got a hockey mask and some heavy gloves at the ready!

thank you

these arrived today, signed Beach Ball. She's a smart cookie, but she's not that good with the phone yet, so whoever helped her, thank you.

(hubs swears it's not him and frankly, he hasn't exactly had time to do this)

maybe a small break

After just saying I would blog through it all, I must re-visit that decision. Something happened today, something scarier than what's been going on so far. I don't think I can blog about it. I think I should, to help someone else who might be up in the middle of the night, wondering what to do when it happens. But I also think that for the sake of my kids, this is probably on the other side of the proverbial line. So I will sleep on it and decide.

If you don't hear from me for a few days, fear not, I will be back, but I think I might need a bit of time to process this. Or then again, maybe tomorrow I'll find a way to write this down without too many details..... stay tuned.

tiny rainbows

wow! nothing like raw feelings and pure honesty to get a ton of people to delurk!

Thanks so much, everyone, old and new readers alike, for your support and your kind words. They mean a lot to me, really, they do.

And just to make it clear that it is not only doom and gloom around here, here are some tiny rainbows of life with the Beach Ball:

• her laugh is infectious. Grant it, she laughs only for Daddy, but boy when she does, it makes everyone one else laugh.
• She does this thing where she flops around like a fish. it's the most entertaining thing you've ever seen. She lies on our bed and then attempts to get up without bending anything, just flopping.... too funny.
• the eating. have I mentioned what a pleasure it is to simply cut up part of our dinner into tiny pieces and then watch her squeal with delight at every bite!

Tonight, we even went to the restaurant with her, sans-Dumpling (who's weekly date at the grand-parents' house was turned into a  sleep over in an attempt to give us a break) and we ordered Pad Tai and roast duck and she couldn't get enough. We took Dumpling to that restaurant once and she ate 8 grains of rice and left a mess at least 2 square meters around her chair. But with Beach Ball, you don't have to worry. she would NEVER let any food go to waste on the floor!

the elephant in the room

When you read post-china blogs, you get one of two things: to paraphrase my friend Mrs. Figby, it's puppies and rainbows and ladybugs, or, you get no updates.  But rare are the bloggers who tell you that it is, in fact, not all rainbows and puppies, but rather, it sucks.

And that is where we are at right now. It sucks. That's right, turn me in to the authorities, I admit it, it sucks right now. Beach Ball is a force to reckon with, and she has decided that only Daddy will do. Anything. Daddy must hold her, daddy must feed her (though her love of food does get the better of her and she will allow me to feed her with daddy in the room). But anything and everything related to sleeping is Daddy only zone. He MUST put her to sleep and he MUST be the one to be there if and when she wakes up. the first 7 days, we didn't fight it, we went with it. But now we were hoping to start normalizing things a little and I've been trying to be involved.

That was a very bad idea. More fits leading to vomit have ensued, and tonight, I was foolish enough to think that I could rock her while Daddy was putting the other  child into her PJs. Oh boy, was that the worst idea EVER. The fit that ensued drenched her through her pajama and frankly, left me looking for a glass of wine in the kitchen afterward.

A brief talk with hubs and we finally discussed what we have been avoiding for the last 3 weeks:L no one may hold her until this is worked out. So far, my parents have held her, one BIL held her this weekend and Dumpling's babysitter has touched her in play. But now, we feel even that is too much, until we figure out how to deal with this extreme situation.

I was prepared for a lot of things. I was prepared for delays. I was prepared for eye-contact avoidance. I was prepared for not eating or not sleeping. What I absolutely was not prepared for is a child who looks me straight in the eye, eats everything in front of her, and then uses all her might to bite me, kick me and push me away.

You don't need to tell me that it's not about *me* personally, but rather the figure I represent. Thanks, but that doesn't make it easier, when I am the one that makes her puke her guts out, the one who has to rely 100% on my husband for naps and bedtime, the one who can't be left alone with her more than 20 min for fear she might turn on me, the one who had to call my parents and tell them that for the time being, they would no longer be allowed to hold her.......

So there you have it. A truthful blog post about the realities of adoption.....  Maybe I should have just stopped posting for a while, but that is not my style.

UNCLE!

That's it, I cried UNCLE, now someone MAKE IT STOP!

First there was the jetlag.

Then there was the complete lack of visitor, making me feel like this child's arrival has gone completely unnoticed (we got our first visitors yesterday, it was a fabulous visit!).

Then, a storm has been brewing with my peeps on the internet and there is serious upset amongst my friends.....

On Friday morning, after a windows update, my laptop died. Having just returned from China, it wasn't completely backed-up. We took it to the doctor, it's the harddrive. The nice people at HP will send me a box for it and in two weeks, I will get it back with a new hard drive, but missing critical data.

Yesterday, In the middle of the afternoon, the dog puked. OK, whatever. It happens. Except at 3am, Mortimer's Dad woke me up in a panic, because the dog had puked several more times. We called the emergency vet, but they said unless there was blood, to give it 24 hours. At 3:30, Mort's Dad decided since he was up, he would take the dogs for a walk.

Not 2 seconds after he left, I heard the most thunderous noise downstairs. I ran downstairs, only to find that several shelves in the dining room had collapsed. A ton of our funky 50's kitch stuff is lost, broken in a thousand pieces.

Mort's Dad returned from his middle of the night walk to find me in my underwear in the dining room, cleaning up. I didn't have time to warn him, Mortimer stepped all over the glass. Bloody Paws.....

I cleaned up and went back to bed (what a joke, who can sleep after that), only to hear Dumpling wake up. She demands the iPod. OK, that will work and keep her quiet. Except that there is no sound coming from it. It's not the headphones..... I need to reset it, but I don't want to lose the library on it, so I attempt to connect it to hubs' computer. in the middle of the night.

For whatever reason, I can't copy to library, but at least the sound is back.......

If one more thing happens, I'm pulling a Britney and  shaving my head.

UNCLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Visitors!

Our furthest-living relatives took a long drive and came to meet the Beach Ball today. It was a lovely day of fun for Dumpling, who just happens to LOVE playing with those cousins, and for the Beach Ball, who certianlyrelished in the attention. We even went outside for a nice walk on the skating ring. BB promptly fell asleep in the stoller. That kid and motion, it's unbelievable! 3 mintues in the car: asleep. 5 minutes in her stroller: asleep. A good trick to remember, for when she decides she doesn't want to go to bed....

Instead of Bitterness: Pictures!

I sat down at the computer to write a bitter post. **************************************************** (original thoughts removed, hubs was not comfortable with it). But as I sat down to complain, yet again, I decided you guys have had enough complaning from me, so instead, I give you this:

In that last one, the cup is filled with Fruit Puffs, which are finally available in Canada. It should come with a warning: "Children can easily become addicted." I mean, it's like crack for babies!

jetlag update: what day is it?

sorry, I know i missed a day or two there.... somehow, it's getting worse before it gets better. The kids are definately up in the middle of the night, there seems to be no getting around it. Both of them, at least from 3 to 5 am.... Wilma sent me an email yesterday and curiously, the exact same thing is going on at the Flintstones. Maybe we should have middle of the night play-dates.

The problem is that now, I can't make it through the evening. so at 7:30 pm, I'm asleep on the couch, trying to stock up on sleep before they wake up and demand food.

Speaking of food, Sprout/BeachBall couldn't be more different on that front than Dumpling. Can I tell you, as a mom who spent almost 3 years fighting and cajoling at every single meal to get a minimal number of bites into my kid's body. Beach Ball eats up EVERYTHING we put in front of her. And gets so freaking giddy about it! The entire high chair shakes!!!! And yes, she lets me feed her a bit now. As long as Daddy is nowhere to be found, Because if he is, please, don't even think about it woman!

jetlag update: PB&J and judgment

on tonight's menu for everyone awake at two am (which at our house is EVERYONE!) PB&J. Oh, and judgment, on the part of Adoptmum (check out the comments on the last post)

Just what I needed at 2 am, while trying to keep my head on straight, feed my kids and keep my husband's tired arms from totally cramping up! (She is *quite* heavy)

Here is the last thing I'll say on the subject: I know not everyone agrees with me. I get that. I'm just asking that you don't judge. What worked for you wasn't going to work for me and what worked for me might not work for you. I respect everyone's choices in parenting and just ask that you do the same. And if you are a new reader adn somehow got brought here by a link in a forum that is discussing my post, thanks for reading. We are a very tight-knit bunch around here, so you have been warned.

(After all, I've got an e-husband willing to defend me, and I won't even mention the offer from Harry and his Sawall!)

Getting something off my chest

Jet Lag update: I took a shower this morning. Do you know you freaking good that feels?!?!?!? Also, Dumpling only went back to bed for about an hour and a half, then she was up for good. We are still going to attempt to send her to school this morning, only because she is A) totally home-sick for her friends and B) it's class picture day today. But I will have my cell phone on and will be ready to pick her up if she gets cranky or tired.

Now, here is the thing I need to get off my chest. Some of my readers live in my area and read my blog because they use the same agency as we do. And they also read the blog of another person who traveled at the same time as us but wasn't part of our group initially. That person has blogged about the fact that the people in our group left our children with nannies at the hotel to go to the Great Wall and, in the blogger's words "Go Shopping".  I take GREAT OFFENSE to that.

Here is what I have to say about that. In our attachment courses, long before we left to get Dumpling, the highly regarded attachment specialist suggested, much like ChicagoMama's attachment therapist, that adopted kids will never understand that you won't abandon them unless you actually leave them and come back. This doesn't mean putting them in day care the day you come home or letting every stranger you meet hold your kid, but maybe having a babysitter come over for an hour a couple times a week, just so your child sees you leave and them come back. THIS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. But for some, it works.

When I went to China without my husband to pick up Dumpling, it was very overwhelming. I  knew before we left that our agency offered the nanny services on the Great Wall visit day (and only on that one day) because it is a very long day, with a long bus ride several stops along the way (yes, they include shopping, but that is not the main purpose) and it it physically nearly impossible to climb the Great Wall with a baby strapped to your chest. So 3 years ago, Wilma and I and one other couple left our kids with the nannies, while the other half of the group took theirs. No one criticized each other, we just did what was right for our individual families.

This time around, the Flintstones and our family had previously discussed the situation and agreed that if the new babies were doing OK, we would leave them, for the benefit of the older kids. By then, it was day 8 and our older daughters were in extreme need of one-on-one time with their parents, away from their new sisters.  The fact that everyone else in our group also left their kids is interesting. SickDad was away, as was SickMom, so their decision was made for them. The Couple who was caring for SickKid was a little tired from having two kids, and the fifth couple was there for there 4th adoption, so they had a lot of experience with attachment.  I think everyone of us was fully prepared to bring our kids if any of them were in need of being with us. But they weren't. So we left them. Is it what everyone would have done? I know it isn't. But I absolutely resent the implication that we did it to enjoy a shopping excursion.

If that other family had wanted to bring their child, no one would have said boo. It they felt excluded, maybe it had more to do with the fact that they were just joining a very tight group (that SickDad experience really bonded us) more than with the fact that we had all already made the decision to hire the nanny. But I am not going to judge them. I would just hope that they wouldn't judge me in return. We made our decision based on 4 years of learning with Dumpling, seeing an attachment/adoption specialist and our good ole gut.

But we did not leave Sprout to go shopping. There, I got it off my chest.

jetlag update: mac n'cheese at 1:30 am

Sunday was a day for creative schedule manipulation. The kids were up at 2 am. Oh, yeah, that was fun!  But Google told me not to feed them full meals until it was actually time, so instead, we had snacks and played in the newly-renovated but still mostly-empty basement. Beach Ball even managed to fall back to sleep, so Mortimer's Dad got an extra 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Then at 7:30 am, we woke them back up and had a proper breakfast, including a morning dose of Blue's Clues (a new favorite of Dumpling's. She was never into it before, but for some reason, now at almost 4, she loves it. She's a bit old, right?)

Anyhow, breakfast was followed by the painful task of trying to find clothes hat fit for the Beach Ball. It wasn't to be. There simply was but one pajama that fit.  So we ventured out to Wal*art, because it's the only thing opened on Sunday Mornings. We got the right diapers, some baby bottles, whatever clothes we can find. She desperately needed mittens. You know what they have under Seasonal: bathing suits! It's February and a cold spell, but there are no winter boots or warm clothes left!!!! Only tops with short sleeves, sun-dresses and flip-flops! In Canada! In February!!!!!

We did have the two disposable cameras developed and got to see Beach Ball's life at the orphanage. Really unbelievable to see: she is absolutely brimming form ear to ear in every shot, and unlike Dumpling's pics, which were all taken in a marathon photo session, these were clearly taken over the course of several days, as all the kids are wearing completely different clothes.

We came home and put the kids down for a late morning nap, allowing them each only 2 hours, then forcing them back up at 1 pm for lunch. Both were grumpy and kept trying to fall asleep, but we kept cajoling until they were fed and playing. MIL came over to meet the Beach Ball, who was unresponsive and seriously clinging to Daddy.

Then we fed them dinner and Beach Ball fell asleep in her plate at 6:30. We put her down, gave Dumpling a bath and put her to bed at 7:30. Mission accomplished. They should sleep at least til 4 or 5 in the morning, and then we can just adjust an hour here and there. Right? Right?

So why did Dumpling get up at 12:30, and why am I making really gross Kosher Mac'n Cheese at 1:30 in the morning because "Mommy, it's dinner time, I H*UN*GRY*!!!!!!" 

I am so easily fooled......

all bodily fluids on deck!

Please note that this post is written under extreme jet-lag, so i'm sort of throwing a pity party for myself. I apologize in advance.

Not a single person in our house is on the same schedule. We had hoped to all stay on the same disfunctional schedule, so that at least we could be there for each other and the kids, but it wasn't to be. Right now, 9:30 pm, Mortimer's Dad and the Beach Ball are out cold, while Dumpling is plugged into the ipod, eating mac 'n cheese, while I am watchign some crap TV I missed ( I already watched the 2 missed G.A. episode, holy mother of crap!!!)

We ventured out early this morning to purchase food stuff. Dumpling is happy enough with turkey slices and mac and cheese, as long as there is plenty of fruit around. But Beach Ball, she needs protein, and carbs, and veggies, and a lot of everything! So the minimal supplies lovingly picked up by manager-extraordinair D will not get us through the weekend.

We got to the grocery store and Dumpling took a hissy fit at the cart situation. She tried to jump out and claim her seat, which is now the Beach Ball's, and hit her mouth, thus starting to bleed just a little. It's mostly from chapped lips, but still, Blood: CHECK!

Beach Ball's system is running into overdrive, there have been no less than 5 poopey diapers today. Poop: CHECK!

While Mortimer's Dad attempted to go to the bathroom to take care of his own fluids, i was left with Beach Ball. I don't want to go into too many details here, but let's just say that BB isn't taking to me. She went from lettign me do everything for her to now not being able to be in my presence at all. So being left alone with me while daddy went to the bathroom put her into an absolute complete fit of screaming and crying. He tried to hurry, but she was so besides herself, she puked all over. Puke: CHECK!

Dumpling slept most of the day. We tried to wake her up after a few hours to limit the lenght of the nap, but it didn't work. But at 9, she called me into her room. The pullup had overflowed and her entire bed was soaked. urine: CHECK!

Everyone also came home with a runny nose. Nothing tragic or requiring medication, but the hosue is already littered with used tissue. Schnot: CHECK!

And I've got my period. Am I missing anything?