Mortimer's Mom

scattered thoughts

Live from Labour Day Monday....

We did the inventory at the store today, but thanks to excellent planning and some pre-counting, plus a couple of sisters/boyfriends/new guy, we were done in record time, and so far, the numbers look to be quite good and we aren't finding huge surprises.

We have also now hired the staff we need, and while it's a jumbled up schedule until we all learn it, Mortimer's Dad and I will no longer need to be in 3 places at once and it looks like there will only be one night a week that we can't do family dinner. Hopefully, we can make that the day my parents take the girls and their life will remain essentially the same.

As things at work are calming down, we took a look at the school schedule. In September and October there are so many Jewish Holidays, plus Thanksgiving and early dismissals for parent teacher conferences that the kids have almost as many days off as they have school! If we allow them to miss 2 extra days (it's kindergarten, I think she'll survive!) we can take the Canadian Thanksgiving/Sukkot break and get the heck out of dodge. Since our house should be under renovation at that time, it would indeed be a fantastic time to go away... Great idea, right? Well every thing is booked up! Freaking middle of October, there are NO ROOMS at Disney (well, the wilderness lodge...  I am not a cabin person), not a single room at any of the Club Meds, we even tried a real schmancy resort with several beaches, 2 of which are reserved for families with kids (which is a nice way of saying they don't allow kids on the other 5!) and they also had no rooms. Well, they had a private residence on the beach for 8 Grand, but no thanks!

What the hell is up with that? Who knew mid-October was prime vacation season? I thought everyone was in school. Who are all these people on vacation???? We found one cruise with a cabin still available: no windows, tiny beds... yuck! And a 4 day Disney cruise, which is a real possibility.

Finally, Sarah Palin..... I have to say something... I can't help myself! It's not my elections, it's not my country. Frankly, the whole system down there is beyond me. how long are these freaking elections? Our Prime Minister just announced we are going to the polls in the fall, we'll be done before you guys get started! 2 months, top! But yeah, Sarah Palin.... Is it her baby? Is it her daughters? My husband thinks I'm nuts to even entertain the idea that maybe she covered up her daughter's pregnancy, he said there is no way that would have gotten past the vetting... Well lo and behold, the dear 17 y.o. is in fact preganant RIGHT NOW! Yeah for teaching abstinence and pro-life! That really works! (dont' get me started. I do not think 17y.o. should be having kids. I get that it happens, but in my mind, it's too young, plain and simple). The point it, that got past the vetting..... A choice for running mate should have experience. If you ask me, this woman is a prime example of someone who is a fantastic bullshitter: she talked her way from mayor of a small town to Governor and now to running mate.... I once talked my way into a very high level position with very little PR experience under my belt. And the whole time I was thinking: Isn't someone going to realise I'm not qualified? Isn't someone going to stop me? not only did they not stop me, they kept promoting me! So she just got promoted, but really, somene should have stopped her.

<end soapbox>

Power Tool Therapy

When I feel stressed (and I am extremely stressed out right now) I need to fix things. Things that I can actually fix, as opposed to the stuff I can't fix, which is causing the stress.

So this weekend, I added 2' of privacy lattice on top of the 3' fence between our yard and pool, because this week, Dumpling figured out that even if the pool gate was locked, all she had to do was *climb over* the fence to get to the other side..... yeah, that pretty much stopped my blood cold, so the situation needed to be remedied immediately. Since I still haven't found someone to fix the freaking wallpaper, I wasn't about to start looking for a fence-mending dude. But some pre-framed lattice, a few 4x4s, a couple of nifty brackets and the fence is now un-climb-able and pretty to look at.

I also added a new tool to my arsenal, though this one is not so much a power tool, but we bought a Roomba vacuum. I do not clean. This is a well established fact. (I would rather build a fence than sweep the floors!) Our beloved cleaning lady is gone to Poland for a month and so the combination of 2 children, 2 dogs and a massive sandbox made even a non-cleaner like me pick up the broom AND the Swiffer and spend the morning cleaning. But I will not be doing this for a month, no way. So I am hoping the Roomba will at least keep the worst of it at bay and I can supplement with occasional actual cleaning.

Finally, the children have gone to their grandparents for a sleep over. Which left me free alone with my second-favorite power-tool, (after the Shark Steam-Vac) the Power Washer. I did the pooldeck, the lawn furniture, the patio and then, I went all out and did the fence around the pool, which I hope to stain a pretty color this week. Seriously, what is that green/grey stuff that covers the fence over time? Gross! But it's gone now and I spent 2 hours alone with 1,900 PSI and my thoughts. I didn't fix anything, I still feel stressed and overwhelmed, but at least the fence is no longer gray, the pooldeck is nice and clean and I can plan hours of staining induced meditation for the coming week (provided it stops raining. Because we are having the most horrible early summer)

Gal Pals

I have blogged in the past about having a hard time making friends. I used to have a few very good friends in college, but we all studied languages, and when you are fluent in many languages, you end up quite mobile. I was gone from my city for many years, and by the time I settled back here, most of my friends were gone, with one or two exceptions. But then, I became the married one, the one with a kid, and again, it seemed hard to keep friendships alive when people are at different stages in their professional/family life.

I tried several times to begin new friendships, only to find it was very hard. The one exception was the Amazing D and her husband A. We became friends over the soup chapter of the charity cookbook and they were the closest people to us when Dumpling arrived. But again, work/family took them to another city and we keep in touch electronically, but it's just not the same.

As a mom, I tried playgroups. There were mostly a disaster. I did know a couple of other moms who were fun, easy going and low maintenance, but the rest of the moms around here are very much cut from the Yummy Mummy mold. I am not. So either they get on my nerves or I irritate them. Either way, it doesn't work.

When Dumpling started school, I did meet several great moms. Some of them I definitely consider friends.  We get together on occasion, but our bond is mostly our children, we don't have much in common as far as interests and likes.

Then, there are my bloggy friends. Clearly, it's easier to make friends online, because you become close to people who you get along with, who are like you or think like you or don't think like you but challenge you in some way. And then, even those friendships sometimes don't work out, and somehow, that hurts even more. But some friendships are real, and solid. And you go on trips with those gals.

Anyhow.... a few months ago, L, this super-cute-bubbly mom at BB's nursery school and asked me if I had heard about R's knitting group on Wednesday mornings. I happen to know R, we have older kids in the same class and she is SUPER crafty so we have crossed paths before. I told L, whom I had never spoken to before, that I hadn't heard of the knitting group but would in fact be interested. I hadn't knitted in a while, but the thought of getting together with other moms and knitting was interesting to me. I must admit, I was nervous beyond belief. Would they like me? Would I like them?

I went a couple of times and I have to say, I liked them right away. Eventually, we decided to stop meeting at R's house and move to a coffee house, so make the logistics simpler: so matter what, on Wednesday morning, we would meet up at the spot from 9 to 11 and knit. I haven't missed a week, except when I went to Texas. They are great. Every one is a little different. But they are all fascinating. And definitely low maintenance and crafty and intelligent. I look forward to Wednesday mornings. I work my schedule around it, to make sure I am not needed at work, at school, etc. Nothing comes in the way of the knitting group. I'm even knitting a nice sweater! But that's just a by product.

Catching Up

Oy. On day 4, the antibiotics kicked in and I was doing much better. So much so, that on Saturday night, we went to dinner at Susan and Gord's house and I even allowed myself to have a glass of wine (it's Susan's fault). But now, on Day 8, the pain is sort of coming back. The good news is that I found out on Sunday that one of my new knitting pals happens to have a urologist for a husband and she's given me his direct number, so when I pop the last pill on day 10, if I'm not better, I'm going to make use of this new connection.

Now let's back up a little and fill you in on the happenings around here. Saturday was a long-planned dinner at Journey to Mei Mei's House. Red was supposed to be there, but she used the sick-baby excuse and stayed home (kidding! the baby was actually quite sick and they were missed. which is why I had to have wine, because Red wasn't there to drink with Susan!)

The big girls got on like a house on fire, again. This time, they had princess make-overs (Cara-Li enjoying the "doing" and Dumpling enjoying the "being done over") They were a tiny bit naughty.... making up signs that said "No Beach Ball" and putting them on the doors, after ever so sweetly coming down and double checking the spelling of Beach Ball's name.... This might explain the sour-puss look on Beach Ball's face..... Also noteworthy: the chicken was so delicious, Dumpling asked for seconds, and after proclaiming that she did not like icecream cake and poking around at her slice, she promptly ate 2 full servings.

On Sunday, we attended the Juvenile Diabetes Walk for a Cure for the second year. You might remember that last year, I took the girls by myself (with my MIL) because Hubs was in the hospital. Well, this year, all is well and he came with us. The girls had a good time, though there was less walking and more stroller-riding this year.... Dumpling's little friend J, who has Juvenile Diabetes, has a mom who is an absolute dynamo. She manages to get sooooo many of the pre-K families involved in this event, our team was not only one of the biggest in numbers (with so many little kids!) but managed to raised a scary huge amount of money. I am so proud of how hard she works and to count her as a friend. Even after organizing such an event, she still managed to pull of a great play-date for our girls the very next afternoon and I picked up a very glittery Dumpling at the end of a long day!

Finally, yesterday was Beach Ball's visit to the farm run by the local university. It's a mighty cute dairy farm with a small sampling of cute animals for the kids to pet. But unlike most petting farms that I've been to, where the animals are skittish or hyper, these animals only see small groups of school children, no private visits, and are rotated often, so they were the most gentle, sweetest goats/sheep/pigs that we've ever had the pleasure of petting. BB had no part in letting the cows "kiss" her though!

And today (as if I'm not exhausted enough!) Dumpling's class celebrated Israel's 60th (a little belated!). Here is my Dumpling, all decked out in blue and white, manning the Israeli Souvenir Booth.... I have to command the teachers. They made a sheet for kids to write who had been to Israel and who hadn't. Then the made another sheet for who was born in Canada and who was born in Israel, but they added a 3rd column for kids who were born somewhere else. It was so nice to see that in addition to China and the USA, we had kids born in Argentina and Belgium. 

Tomorrow, I'll tell you all about my new knitting buddies.... go figure! I found some gals I enjoy seeing on a weekly basis!

This must be what heaven is like

• The flight to Florida was on time
• We all had seats in the bulkhead row
• BB slept almost the entire way (as did super-amazing babysitter M!!!!)
• Dumpling watched an ipod movie, played with a learn-to-draw-book and made chit-chat with the flight crew. She was on her BEST behaviour
• The plane landed on time, the luggage was all retrieved promptly, the carseat made it, the car rental company offered us a better option for the same price
• the house that Mortimer's Dad rented online is just as good as it looked. Sure, it's a vacatino rental: there are no 2 spoons alike and only 3 knives, but everyone has a bed, there are plenty of bathrooms, a fantastic patio over looking the intra-coastal
• the fridge was full of beer (American beer, but hey, it's free!)
• I manaed to find *THE* hockey game on the complicated satellite, so MD and M are watching happily, while  I type and drink beer.
• Please let them win, this will be the PERFECT vacation!

Fever

No worries, I'm not sick... per say. I seem to have caught a case of mild Hockey Playoff Fever. It's a very common communicable disease around these parts but I have somehow managed to live my entire life without catching it once. As a young party girl, I used to be pretty good at faking the symptoms and tagging along for treatment when my buddies came down with it. After all, the recommended medicine is plenty of booze administered in a seedy loud bar in front of a giant TV, preferably by some cute members of the opposite sex.

Today is the first game of the playoffs and my city is besieged by the Fever. Everywhere you look, it's Habs flags galore. Respectable businessmen were walking around in hockey jerseys OVER their shirts and ties today. I must be getting old and my immunity must be low, because I actually got a little excited when they scored twice in the first few minutes of the game. And we were listening in the car.... Ususally, I need to have a visual or a lot of beer.

Fortunately, it seems to be a very mild case, as I was able to watch Survivor and made my husband watch the game on the TV in the attic instead. I worked on a prototype for my quilt and only checked the score once I new the game was over. But I checked, which is a clear symptom of being infected.

wax on, wax off

During our stay in Texas, the 4 of us renegades got together with 3 absolutely lovely bloggers who were also hitting the Canton flea market. They shall remain anonymous because I don't know them that well and they are not really in the updating mode right now. (also, I'm pretty sure my in-depth knowledge of celebrity gossip and outing of certain gay movie stars just scared them to death!)

Anyhow, during dinner the first night, I mentioned how I had my legs waxed before coming down, to de-winterize my legs, and Blogger A mentioned that she had never heard of such a thing and didn't know a single person who waxed their legs. Bobbi Jo and I were somewhat shocked, as waxing our legs is such a normal, regular thing to do. But we figured out that proper southern ladies wouldn't stand to wait the regrowth period before the next waxing, so shaving was better for them.

Now, I have found the complete and total opposite end of the spectrum..... let me ask you: how old were YOU the first time you got waxed? And your hoo-ha? 'cause I'm sure these girls got you beat....

Mortimer's Mom Winter Fitness Camp and Spa

When Mrs. Figby blogged about signing up for bootcamp, a light-bulb went off in my head.... I'd like to officially announce the opening of Mortimer's Mom Winter Fitness Camp and Spa.

Need to get in shape? Tired of the city-smog you've been breathing and want to fill your lungs with some fresh Canadian air? Have a pasty green teenager in your basement that needs to see some sunshine? Whatever the reason, my Winter Fitness Camp has it all.

• Daily cardio workout of snow-shoveling.  Added benefit of arm-muscle building and serious back-strengthening.
• Instead of boring ice-fishing, let Mortimer's Dad teach you the art of dog-poo retrieval from the in-ground swimming pool that is now filled with snow. (And easily accessible to the dogs because the fence is covered in snow.)
• Some winter resorts offer Polar-Bear Swims. We'd like to offer you the Midnight Pajama Run down Main Street, chasing after Mortimer and Lucy, who easily strolled over the 8 foot fence, because the snow is HIGHER than the fence.
• For those who've always wanted to try mountain climbing, we offer daily dog-walks over the snow banks because the city still hasn't cleared the sidewalks. Mortimer's Dad, an expert in winter-dog walking will teach you the fine art of dodging between perpendicularly parked cars, crossing a street when you can't see incoming traffic because of 2-3 meter-high snowbanks and finding a garbage can to dispose of dog poo in a football field-sized park covered in snow removed from the one street that was cleaned up.
• Always fancied taking up dare-devil activities like bungee jumping or skydiving? We'll strap you to the chimney with a home-made harness and let you clear the roof!
• As a bonus, the first person who digs up the cooler we forgot on the balcony in the fall gets to take home said cooler, filled with fluffy white Canadian Grade A, non-dog-yellowed snow!

But fear not! It's not all exercise and work! Dumpling and Beach Ball will be more than happy to school you in the fine winter arts of Snowpeople building, Snow-angel making and walking to the car without falling on your rear!

Accommodations include the orange guest room previously used by the Urbans and myself after knee surgery. Daily wine and cheese while watching horrible reality TV illicitly downloaded from the internet. Don't worry about getting plenty of sleep: the guest room is like a dark cave, since we haven't gotten to shoveling the windows and you can't see a damned thing!

Book now! We anticipate the snow remaining til late May, early June. Should you wish to travel at a later date, please note that work-out activities will be switched to:

• moving all the furniture out of the basement to avoid damage during the impending flooding
• spring clean up of the yard, which will include lunges in thigh-high mud, to retrieve any and all garden implements forgotten in the fall
• heavy duty dog-washing to keep the mud OUTSIDE the house (think of it as heavy moisturizing, pore cleansing and removal of dead-skin from your hands)

So, who's it gonna be? Sign up, I promise yummy balanced Kosher meals, constant entertainment courtesy of Mortimer's Dad (can you say "Man Alive!"???) and the overwhelming cuteness of Dumpling and Beach Ball, all the while working out, sweating and building muscle, while never getting hot!

the nastiest 4 letter word: S*&%

it's the the word you are thinking...... S - N - O - W..... it's snowing again. It snowed all day yesterday. It's been snowing all day today. Not only did I have to do my usual Friday-afternoon path shoveling, but i also had to shovel the roof.... yep, because it's not enough we have to be worried about getting into the house and emergency escapes, we now have to be seriously  concerned about roof collapses (there was a horrible tragedy around these parts last week). So I spent the better part of the afternoon removing snow from the low-slooping parts of the roof and the shed.

it's hard to tell, but I'm on the left, waist deep in powder behind the shed, trying to get the 1 meter of snow on top down to a manageable height... I cannot imagine what is going to happen when this all starts to melt. I see months of mud ahead. And possibly basement flooding.... yeah!

In crafty news, tomorrow is the girls last week of ski-school. They like to end with a carnival, where the kids show up in costumes. Last year, I missed the boat, what with a new kid at home and all. So this year, I bought some pink flannel and spent 3 hours making them bunny outfits. Because you see, the ski-instructors dress up as bunnies.... Also, with all the easter supplies in the store, bunny ears were readily available. I needed 4 pairs, 2 for playing in the house and 2 for attaching to the helmets. I promise ski-bunny pictures tomorrow, but for now, behold the bunny-goodness that was all over the house today.

the dogs weren't exactely willing participants....

snow, now with pictures

I know what you are thinking... that was I was exaggerating for effect.... let me show you!

This is Mortimer's Dad trying to get the kids into the house after skiing......

Notice that the snow bank is as tall as he is. Also, the balcony? it's on the FIRST floor!!!! yes, there is an entire level BELOW the balcony, at the front of the house. Normally, in the summer, we go up the right side and enter through the "front" door, which in fact is behind the house. But don't shovel it in the winter because the path is a good 40 feet longer than the path to the "back" door, which is actually in the front, under the balcony.

And this is what happens if you don't shovel the door for the entire winter:

that's right.... there is snow ALL THE WAY to the top of the door!

And the door we do use? This is what it looks like when we open it:

Trying to figure out just how high that is? Well, let me give you a little perspective........ That horizontal wood thing? That's the swing set...

But as much as we hate having to shovel ourselves in and out, we get rewarded with things like BB, who knows skies from the top to the bottom of the hill ALL BY HERSELF! one winter! Go Beach Ball! We're going to have to call you Snow Ball from now on!