Mortimer's Mom

Like internet-dating, but for friends

That's what blogging is turning out to be for me: Internet dating for friends. A few weeks ago, I was contacted by a new reader who had found Ubercrafty when searching for craft get-togethers in our city. She is fairly new to town and is very crafty and was looking to hang out with other crafty people and thought I might point her in the right direction. I didn't, because other than my knitting group, I don't know of any get-togethers. But I did invite her to join us or offered to have coffee with her.

Sure enough, last Friday, we had coffee over the pull-out pattern page of a Japanese craft book and I showed her how to find her pieces and highlight them. But we chatted too and I really  liked meeting her.

Then last night, Alisa came over to dinner with her very funny husband and super delicious tiny little girl. That would be Alisa from Mimosa. Alisa and I first met in real life many years ago, before their application went to China, shortly after Dumpling's arrival. I told her all about the online community and got her to join the KLBs. We also got together earlier this year when she was in town on business and yesterday, I couldn't pass up the chance to feed them a BBQ and get our 3 girls together. I won't post pics because Alisa doesn't post pics of her little one, which I totally respect. But let me tell you, they were so freaking cute together. Dumpling took such good care of the little one. She even shared her dress up clothes and put her in her little mermaid outfit for our amusement.

The grown ups enjoyed a nice bottle of wine and some pie (there was food in between, but those were the highlights!) and some fun conversation.

I know some people fear crossing that line, between the online and the real life. But for me thus far, it's been a great line to cross. A few weeks ago we had a grown up dinner with 2 other couples from Dumpling's school and they were sort of fascinated by the idea that I had gone on vacation with Mrs. Figby, after all, I knew her "from the computer". I tried to explain to them that if online dating and sites like e-harmony can be successful, why couldn't you form friendships with people you met online. After all, we sort of end up reading blogs of people who are like-minded or share an interest in something we like. If I could weed through people in real life and only find the people that I end up surrounding myself with online, I think I'd have a lot more friends. So for now, I'm going to forge ahead and keep meeting up with the people in the computer. It's fun.

(Special shout-out to J. father of little  miss J. You made it in the blog.)

"I Miiiiiiisssssss Her!"

Well, yes, I do in fact already miss Mrs. Figby. I find it so effortless and easy to hang out with her. But those words, that's a quote from Dumpling, less than 10 minutes after dropping Apples off at the airport. And then, big ole tear drops streamed down her face. And she held her sister's hand in their respective carseat and moaned about how much she was going to miss Apples, how Apples was her BESTEST best friend and then they recapped the ENTIRE weekend out-loud ("and then, we swam in the pool! And remember when she let me play with her little petshop? and when we went to my room and hid in the closet! that was fun! I miiiiiiisssss her.........")

I'll skip the minute by minute recap, since Mrs. Figby already gave an indepth report of her time here, but I will tell you about some of my favorite moments of their visit:

• right off the bat, at airport arrivals, Dumpling and Apples spy each other through the glass and Apples takes a mad dash towards us to say hi to Dumpling. They had met once, almost 2 years ago, there is no way they actually remembered. but right there, in that moment, they were instant friends. Plus Dumpling had made a nice Welcome Apples sign like the limo drivers. Except pink with butterflies....
• Being able to leave them almost immediately with M the Amazing babysitter to spend the afternoon by ourselves like grown ups. it was only 4 hours, but it was so pleasant. Yes, there was shopping involved, but mostely just a lot of talking.
• the look of shear terror on Apples' face after dinner on Saturday night as we were leaving a messy tomato sauce dinner... Mrs. Figby picks her purse up (well, it was hanging off the table by her fancy purse hanger doo-hickey) and she says, super nicely, not mad at all "Oh dear Apples, you spilled some sauce on the Prada!" Man, that kid thought she was done for good! It wiped up immediately, and like I said, Mrs. Figby wasn't mad in the least little bit, but the look on Apples' face..... a 5 year old who has clearly been thought the importance of taking care of a good Prada bag!
• Memorable, but for a different reason: leaving the grocery store, Mrs. Figby announces with no fanfare or forewarning that a night of insomnia in my basement led her to the conclusion that she was closing her blog.... I wasn't surprised, we had discussed our online futures in Paris, but I wasn't expecting it in that particular instant...... I'll miss her blog. Luckily, I should be good for private info by email!
• Finally, memorable overall: watching two  5 y.o. become fast friends in the space of 3 days. There are no politics in friendship when you are 5. Sure, Dumpling got in Apples personal space a few times and required adult supervision to rectify the situation, and there were moments when frankly, they had enough of each other, but overall, it was so fun to watch them evolve from perfect strangers to total companions, even telling secrets and plotting jokes against us.

I leave you with a few photos.....

Apples hangs in the bouncy castle (best ever afterdinner activity to tire out children)

the ladies at the Biodome

Vets in the making

Dumpling has some Mad Skillzz as a waitress

Finally, Apples and BB as pit crew

Rolling out the Green Carpet

What, not everyone astro-turfs a third of their backyard the night before guests come to stay? Just me? Oh well....

As much as I would like Mrs. Figby to believe I did this for her and Apples, it wasn't EXACTLY for them.... Seems like dealing with a mentally ill relative and a Attachment-disordered 5 y.o. isn't enough (not to mention work stress, website stress, etc)... No, you see, Mortimer was getting jealous that Mortimer's Dad was off dealing with other things.... He somehow came home with a case of hookworm. Which is bad. It's nasty and contagious to other dogs (and possibly humans if you don't take precautions). So no more doggy daycare. No staying at the trainers during our vacation (we are hoping to find some sort of boarding solution, otherwise, no vacay for us). And no more sand box. Because hookworms THRIVE in sand. And if kids step in contaminated sand... well, you get contaminated kids. So the vet recommended we quarantine the sandbox. Which is 22 ft by 10 ft......

A visit to the home improvement store, less than an hour of staple-gunning and voila, one astro-turf backyard. the girls already miss the sandbox. But I already don't! And the Roomba doesn't either.

Figby is Coming! Figby is coming!

I was keeping this under wraps because I wasn't 100% this was going to happen.... In one of our recent email conversations, Mrs. Figby and I discussed another get together. I believe it went something along the lines of "Dude, you are an hour away by plane, you guys should come visit". While there was a brief thought of making it an entire Figby Family trip, it worked out better that the Mrs would come with Miss Apples. Who didn't have a passport. But apparently the US is much more organised than Canada when it comes to such things, because one visit into Manhattan (and Prada) and Miss Apples is now able to enter my country.

So I now have about 36 hours to get my house ready to host them. Which just means removing the last boxes from the guest room (from the still not-finished living room redecorating project) and preparing a moveable bed for Miss Apples. Because she will either share a room with her mother or have a sleep over in Dumpling's room, depending on what she chooses (and how they get along!)

I tell you, I'm totally excited! It's been doom and gloom around here for a while now, and it's very hard to snap out of it. But 3 days with Figby will do a lot to cheer me up (hear that Figby? it's your JOB to come here and amuse me... DANCE Figby, Dance!)

Day 4: and then there was one

Mrs. Figby must be home by now. I already miss her. I missed her about one hour after she left, when I got off the metro near Au Bon Marche and realised that in fact, I really don't like department stores, they overwhelm me. We had dicussed that the day before, but there I was, alone in Paris and I just didn't know where to start. I walked out and sat down for yet another cafe creme, because it seemed like the only thing I could manage to do now that I foudn myself alone.

Then I started walking in the general direction of some attraction or other and suddenly found myself on a tiny back street, filled with adorable little parisian shops. First I found the most adroabel headband and chinese-type fans for the girls at a store called Papa Pique et Maman Coud (I'll deal with links when I get home and am not surfing the net on a hotel TV). And without even trying, I ended up right in Du Pareil Au Meme, a kids store we had hoped to visit together but hadn't been in the areas we visited. There is was. I must apologize to Mr. Figby for not finding one with her, she would have bought Apples an entire new wardrobe in there! I got the girls each a top and a skirt, with a pajama or two, but it was very heard to keep it at that, I wanted to buy everything.

On my way out it really hit me: Not only am I not a *label* girl, but I really do like boutiques and shops way more than department stores and malls. So I readjusted my thinking and resolved to spend the day like a Parisian Gal might. I started walking along the long avenue leading to Tour Montparnasse and finallly hit my stride shopping-wise! I bought cute dresses for less than 40E a piece (and Mrs. Figby would have been proud, they were both in shades of grey! Grey is my new neutral). I asked the shop keepers where else I would find such little shops and they recommended I head to the streets behind the Louvres and Les Halles, so after a quick visit of Tour Montparnasse and the attached "mall", I hopped on the metro and headed over there. Boy! It was so hard to hold myself back. Instead of bringing home 2 or 3 fancy pieces (well, there is that one Gerard Durel jacket..... google him, I'll provide you a link later) I am coming home with tons of cute little pieces and a killer pair of burnt orange satin and suede ballet flats that match the jacket to a tee!

Once I decided that I had in fact shopped enough and had positively spoiled my girls rotten, I checked my guide book for the first time since breakfast and grabbed a french onion soup at Au Pied du Cochon. Their speciality is pig's feet, which I watched everyone around me eat... kinda gross.... I did have to make a final stop at Le Printemps. Mortimer's Dad deserved a much bigger present than what I had already purchased, so I went back but didn't even bother going through it. I entered from the basement of the men's building, headed for the right counter and headed back out. I was done.

I came back to the hotel (Line 8/Lilac towards Balard) one last time.... and marveled at how adept I had become at traveling the complicated lines of the metro. After a quick email home, I decided it would be wise to go through all the bills (for customs) and pack while I still had time to go back to the store if things didn't fit in the suitcase. While it is absolutely full now, I did not need to worry and all the best goodies fit in the carry-on, so that if the suitcase gets delayed, at least the girls will get spoiled right away.

To end my trip, I kept going with my Parisian Gal for a day theme and explored the rest of the surrounding neighbourhood, with a litttle help from Google and the owner of the hotel.... I found a movie theater that only plays 3 movies. It's ancient, from the turn of the century, with red velvet chairs and only one screening of each movie, no previews. I grabbed a quick dinner a local Brasserie (not to be confused with brasierre), but it was hard to read my book with all the yelling and screaming at the soccer match. I had 30 min to kill before my movie, so I found Square St-Lambert and read my book on  a bench, watching a Chinese father with his 5 children play some confusing hybrid game of frisbee and baseball. (it was so amazing to watch a Chinese father of so many children.)
Finally, I joined 6 people in the theater for The Other Boylen Girl (I'm totally obsessed with The Tudors right now) and got a free, tiny, old fashioned paper bag of popcorn from the 80+ year old man running the projector. When it was over, I walked back by myself, amazed at how absolutely quiet the little streets of the 15e arondissement were. Sure, when I got to major intersections there were people at cafes and people getting in and out of the metro, but turn on a side street and you couldn't even hear a single car.

I'm all tucked in now, ready to go to sleep and head home in the morning. The only thing I'll have time for is one more breakfast at a nearbuy cafe. I asked for an early wakeup call, so I might walk a bit further and try something with a view of the Eiffel Tower, just one last time.

Tomorrow night, I'll be home. I missed my girls and Mortimer's Dad so much. He's had to deal with power failures at home and at work, unruly staff, a broken pool filter, family health issues and 2 crazy kids who miss me and are taking it out on him...... I owe him BIG time. Thanks for letting me do this honey!

Day 3, with a little less pep in our step

So it turns out that 2 days of power-shopping, non-stop walking, culture-soaking travel can tire a girl out! We had the best intentions to spring out of bed at 8 and be on an early train to Versailles, but just getting out of the room was hard this morning. First, you need an engineering degree to operate the shower, which I do not have, so I ruined my blow dry by soaking myself under the raindrop shower head instead of using the hand-held one I meant to use.... Which delayed us a little since I had to do *something* with my hair.But we grabbed a quick cafe/croissant and hopped on the metro to the RER and headed to Versailles almost an hour later than we had intended.

Versailles was spectacular. I had been there once as a teenager and I remember the grandeur, but really, as an adult who now understands about real estate, holy crap that was a house! We have decided that today's equivalent would be P Diddy's lifestyle, with the houses and boats and pool partys.

We began our stroll through the gardens, heading to the Grand Trianon (the petit is closed for Restoration) and it started to drizzle. By the time we hit the Grand Canal, it was piss-pouring rain, so we had no choice but to duck into the little canal-side cafe and enjoy yet another cafe-creme and tartine au beurre until the sky cleared. Which it didn't. So we bought a very overpriced souvenir umbrella and made our way to the Trianon, with wet feet and wet hair, but it was TOTALLY worth it. And we took lots of pictures to inspire decors at home!
By the time we were done, we couldn't walk another step, so we hopped the little electric train and headed back to the castle and returned to Paris for a late lunch at a little place outside Le Printemps. This time our goal was men-gifts for the boys back home. It was hard, but we managed to do it. Then we spotted, for the second time, a lovely burnt-orange leather cropped jacket that just screamed my name, but I simply couldn't justify a purchase of that size. However, Mrs. Figby kept at it, and tonight, on the way to dinner, we made yet another trip to the department store.... I'm sure you can figure out what happened from there.

We had our last big Paris meal at a total out of the way, never would have found it, tiny local restaurant that was absolutely divine. But I ate so much, I quickly developed a food-baby, which the chef mistook for an actual pregnant belly, and he felt so embarrassed, they didn't charge us for the scrumptious desserts.

There was also a walk in Place Pigalle, a picture of the Moulin Rouge, a grand-mother with cottage-cheese thighs playing Marylin Monroe on a large airvent, and now, the most entertaining show of all, watching Mrs. Figby tally up her purchases and attempt to fit everything in her suitcase.!

We get to have breakfast together in the morning and then she has to head out to the airport for a midday flight. I plan on hitting some more home-oriented shops as research for the store, and maybe a quirky museum or something like that.

day 2, in bullet form

It's 1:30 in the morning and we just got back about 15 min ago, so you'll have to forgive the bullets, but I'm pretty sure I can't form a cohesive sentence. Also, the  sheet lack of comments on our posts is making us think that you are not living vicariously through us but rather hating our bitchy guts right now, so I'm trying not to piss you all off even more!

• I slept like a log. Including through mrs. Figby showering AND Blowdrying.
• Bfast at cafe was cruchy and oh so buttery
• started the day with culture at the Picasso Museum. It was fabulous.
• saw the strangest human being EVER: I say it was a woman, Figby is convinced it was a man, 100% covered in tattoos, with plexi tubes sticking out of his/her nose, ears and hands.....
• a jolt of coffee was consumed in the museum coourtyard, which was fab, before we discovered the lovely streets of Le Marais, which are chock-full of tiny boutiques, where Mr.s Figby shopped a lot and I shopped a little. (that's a recurring theme BTW)
• lunch one block from La Bastille in one of the most reknown and oldest Brasseries in Paris. We were after the lunch crowd (socialites like us enjoy lunch after 2:30 you see) and we had the place to ourselves. We had the most sinful scalloped potatoes and cheese appetizer, and a duck breast that was so DIVINE, we both almost died on the first bite. And it was just lunch, and it wasn't even expensive.
• A quick hop back on the metro and we squeezed every possible minute out of the remainder of the opening hours at Galleries Lafayette, where I did a small amount of damage (mostely for the girls, but a tiny bit for me).
• Mrs. Figby's love of all things grey is rubbing off on me.... you'll have to wait to see pics, since I don't have a computer to upload to.
• after relieveing ourselves of our packages at the hotel, we hopped back into the now familiar metro and headed straight for the champs elises
• Dinner and a show: watching very sexy riot policemen get ready to deal with a rowdy crowd of Portuguese soccer fans...
• Sex and The City, in english, in Paris,
• midnight shopping at Sephora, which is the only thing opened that late (other than bars).
• Sephora also included a show, as when we walked in, the staff was all standing on the counter and dancing gogo-style to the music blaring into the store... it ended 2 minutes later, but it was quite surreal

We were out so late, the metro was closed and we had to find a way to hail a cab, which it turns out is impossible on the Champs Elysees after midnight - all occupied.  Thankfully, a nice concierge from a near by hotel resuced us, and now we are tucked safely in bed, about to get rest to attack tomorrow: VERSAILLES! And Le Printemps. And many more tiny boutiques....               

The French are already trying to mqke me crazy

I have arrived in Paree, and already, it's totally crazy! I had a pleasant flight; but must remember next time that when flying on a budget airline, even in their "privileged" section, one will encouter Budget Travelers. How I wished I could have snapped a picture of the couple in front of me: he was wearing his best Church-going suit and she was bleached blond, tanned orange, in cut off shorts and Shawna-Sands lucite heels.

I landed at Terminal 3, which it turns out is like landing at the greyhound bus depot. They let you off on the tarmac; you take a bus to the terminal, where 2 guys sitting in q plexi-glqss booth with no computer barely glance at your passport and let you into the country. There is more security at my kids school!

That terminal had a nice hotel Ibis where you could book a room for ' hours, which I would have done since that's how long I have to wait for mrs. Figby, but they were fully booked already. So I made my way to terminal 2, where all the annoyances occured:

• the information desk is under renovation. there is a lady on a chair next to it, but she told me Figby's plane was delayed 3 hours.
• There is no free wifi at the airport, and I can't figure out how to buy ti,e on my phone, because their welcome page isn't mobile friendly
• I researched online before coming and thought I could rent a cell phone at the airport. Not so. Nobody knows what I'm talking about.
• Finally managed to get internet access at the Sheraton (15 € for 1 hour... would they like my first born with that?) and the keyboard isn't QWERTY! I am not exagerqting when I say it's taken me 30 min to type this, and all my As were Qs

OK, I'm off to see if I can figure out the actual landing time for her flight

Girls get together and talk!

I just spent a lovely evening with yet another blogger. The internet is a funny place, where you end up bcomeing really friendly with people that live far away. And then you mention to those people that you will be in their neck of the woods and have to decide if you want to meet them or not.

A while back, I made a plan to get together with A Girl's Gotta Blog. It was a loose plan. I was coming to Miami, she lives here, we were going to hook up at some point. Today, she came to the house (invited!!!) with not 1 but TWO bottles of wine and we talked in the sun room for a good hour. The girls (mine) were in their typical 2/5 y.old behaviour, putting on a big show, being sweet and totally wired. Hubs was kind enough to give them a bath to give us some space. After I put them to bed, we took our chat on the road and went for a bite and more talking.

It's hard to believe we didn't actually *know* each other before tonight, and I hope she'll head north someday and we can hook up again in my neck of the woods.

Sometimes you need to plug it and unplug it

That my friends, are words to live by. It was the advice of the hotel desk clerk when Melissa and I pointed out that the WIRELESS connection wasn't working...... Think about that one for a second. Yeah.

It's early afternoon and we are resting in our hotel rooms because

a) we got up at 4 am
b) it's cold and rainy and most of the cool vendors didn't open

So we are recharging our batteries and hoping to make a second pass at it later this afternoon. We did get a bunch of good stuff this morning: some oilcloth bags and aprons, some really good pieces of vintage fabric and chenille bed spreads and even some actual oil cloth fabric by the yard. And we ate delicious BBQ. While watching scalp surgery.... you had to be there.

Best moment of the day thus far was shared by Bobbi Jo and I, who happen to be sharing a room. We were just leaving Michele and Melissa's room to head into ours and stepped into the elevator. The door closed. And the most horrendous smell of fart assaulted us! It was still there when we went downstairs to the business center 20 minutes later.

We are now relegated to using the business center computers, because I can't figure out how to unplug the wireless internet. Oh, and Bobbi Jo keeps crashing her browser by attempting to open a second tab.... we are apparenlty trying to break the Texas Internet.