Mortimer's Mom

So Long, Farewell

auf Wiedersen, Adieu.....

And just like that, The Urbans left the Canadian Compound and headed home, appropriately on the 4th of July. A grand time was had by all. My daughters managed not too break Lil' Urban, who is a total charm. I mean, Dumpling was a bit over the top at times and had to be reminded that Herb was in fact not her personal toy/bouncy game/slave, but he was a great sport about it. By the time they left, we had the loading and unloading of  2 family/3 kids in the minivan down to a science.

We will miss them, though probably not as much as the coffee purveyors of our city, who will see a severe dip in their profits now that Herb is gone. Dude's got a serious coffee addiction!

US-Canada relations shattered after the Mortimer 4 attempt to kidnap the Urbans

Yes, I admit it, we attempted to keep the Urbans from returning to the US by keeping them locked in the house for an entire afternoon. It was actually an accident, as we took Dumpling for a doctor's assessment of her behavioural issues and our 1:30 appointment started at 2:45. And we first had to meet with a resident. And wait 30 min to see the specialist afterwards. So we didn't get home til after 5 pm. So yeah, they were stuck. But Lil' urban was napping for most of that time, and they had an ample supply of fresh-roasted coffee beans and both a drip and esspresso machine, so I really don't, know what they are complaining about! Also, they were in the company of the M the amazing babysitter, so technically, they weren't really prisoners.....

We made up for it though, with a great mexican dinner and a trip to the jazz festival. The kids absolutely loved the music parc, and the picture at the end was taken by the extra talented Mrs. Urban, who has a fancy camera and knows how to use it.

Also, Herb rebuffed the Children of the Porn tonight when they peaked their heads over the fence at five minutes to 6 and asked to come bounce on the mountain, just as we were about to partake of our final dinner together. He is fully 100% responsible for the moniker, but I find it quite befitting and intend to stick with it.

The Rematch

Amids allegations of fraud on both sides (it seems Mortimer's Dad might have mixed up his cards and used players from both teams), Herb and MD are once again sitting on the floor, picking teams and getting ready for part two of the Showdown in Montreal. Lil' Urban is still playing with the other cards, but this time, she's only been given one team, because it took me forever to sort through all the teams after she was done last time.

Also, they dressed for the occasion....

In non-Strat related news, Mrs. Urban and I hit the mall today so she could shop at H&M and I took her to Zara, another favorite of mine. We only had the 2 little kiddos, as Dumpling had her first day of day camp today, where she promptly peed on the side of the public pool. Oh, I'm popular there now!

After naps today, we packed up the 3 kiddos in the minivan (7 passengers my ass! I have to sit in the 3rd row wedged between two car seats) and headed over to the Jazz fest, made our way through the crowd and just made it to the kids music play area, when the skies opened up and it started to rain. So we strapped the kids back in and headed to the Schmall, where we let them run around the much-beloved pirate ship and The Urbans had some old-people coffee. But Herb took lots of pictures, so I'll let him give you his impressions of the dead Jewish mall.

strange brew

To quote the Mackenzie brothers: "this movie was made in 3-B (it's better after 3 beers)". I enjoyed it much more last night while tanked on wine than in did today in my sober attempt to review it. Seriously, what can you say about a movie that revolves around 2 guys who love beer so much, they will stop at nothing to attempt to get free beer (the mouse in the bottle, a classic), even entagling themselves in the rescue of a poodle-haired beer heiress who has been kidnapped. She really needs to be rescued from the horrible bow on the neck of her blouse and her high-waited pleated pants. But then again, they are wearing tuques and play hockey in Star War uniforms, so I'm not sure who needs the most rescuing here.

I think you have to have a Canadian passport to truly enjoy the brillance that is Strange Brew. That, or a nice case of two-four (that's 24 bottles for you non-Canadians). A bottle of wine will do in a pinch.

Mrs. Urban is in charge

All I have to say about Canada Day is that our friend Jeff had one glass of Rose wine.... I had the rest of the bottle. I emptied it about half an hour ago. I have now switched to white wine, because Herb drank all the red wine after entertaining the girls in the bouncy mountain. We also got S. of Trading Spaces fame to play in there for a little while..... I have had more than my allotment of wine for one day (one week, maybe even a month) and Mortimer's Dad and Herb Urban are playing poker with Jeff and our friend S. and Dr. J (who wouldn't go in the bouncy mountain, no matter how much begging Dumpling did) and some Dude whom I've never met before, but he rang the door bell, so I let him in. So Mrs Urban is in charge of all child-related emergencies. She is putting Lil' Urban to bed, while playing post-apocalyptic Second Life. But we can IM each other, so if I hear an emergency on the intercom, I can let her know and she'll take care of it. 'Cause I drank too much and the men are too busy playing in a 20$ game, so she's the responsible adult around here.... maybe I should let her know....... I'll just IM her.....

it's like Albany, only cleaner

it's Canada Day over here and The Urbans are enjoying the best of what we have to offer: Crepes, Old Montreal, National Moving Day (I'm sure there's a wiki explaining this somewhere) and a double feature on TV: Canadian Bacon and Strange Brew. We missed the first half of Canadian Bacon, which Herb has never seen, but we will faux-tivo Strange Brew and review it both tomorrow for Movie Monday, from the Canadian and US perspective. Bookmark it, it should be memorable.

Also, in honor of their visit, and because it fell on the pre-scheduled poker night, we've morphed poker night into a Canada Day BBQ at our house and we will let our real-life friends meet our Internet friends.....

Finally, I'm sad to report that there was a heavy controversy regarding last night's 2 first rounds of Strat (which I misspelled as Start in yesterday's post but I'm not fixing to avoid all the geeks who Google Strat championships). It seems Herb can't read a card properly, something about out and doubles and frankly I don't really care, but he didn't win fair and square, so there will be a rematch. Though next time, they might sit on chairs, 'cause the floor got hard on their backs after a few hours....

Let's list dead baseball players! fun!

Excerpts from the Start Showdown.... 2 grown men, sitting Indian-style on the floor....

8:20 organize cards and pick teams. Start reading stats and reminisce about players....

MD: Remember Ceasar? didn't he hold his bat really high?

• MD:....Before the game, he used to milk a cow....

MD: wow that's a fantastic card you've got
HU: none of this makes any sense to me.

• HU: Chris Brown, he's dead?
  MD: A lot of people are dead from the 80's..... (got on to list dead players and how they died: shot, held up a liquor store...)
• HU: I read a story he got cut by the Royals in 85 and then contemplated killing (so and so, wasn't paying attention to players name)
• MD: Idaho, I should go there, I like baked potatoes
  HU: but there were a couple of white supremacists who set up there....

9:00 still holding their cards, reminiscing.....

• HU: they hold him up to be a great human being, but he beat his wife....
  MD: well, they cleared him of the rape allegations
• MD: I can't remember the Philly bullpen
  HU: Dickie Knowles
  MD: Dickie Knowles!!!! It's all coming back to me know (Cue Celine Dion)
• MD: he's a coke-head you fool!
• HU: he brought his foot up as well (both MD and HU, sitting on the ground, lift up one leg/foot in the air, in perfect geek symmetry)
• MD: I don't know why so many of them get so fat... they do nothing?
  HU: it's sad when your idols let themselves go (MM thinking: what's sad is this conversation)
• MD: I think he was living under a bridge for a while
• MD: My favorite pitching coach, he's also dead! Dick Pole. (OK, favorite pitching coach? that's pathetic!)

*Lil Urban is sitting on the floor, mixing some cards*

• HU: Sweetie, don't mix up another team. play with these guys (and by *guys* he means a pile of cards)

9:30 about to actually start playing, looks at the mess of cards on the floor in front of Lil Urban

• HU: I need to pick another team, she's done some trades

9:40, going over the instructions, realize that they can also play by *mail* by sending each other plays, and apparently, there is a solitaire option..... They try to figure out how one would play Strat by one's self:

• MD: wait, I'm going to use a left fielder. What a surprise! To myself!

9:50 Mortimer's Dad says :OK, let's start playing!,
Mrs. Urban, sitting on the the couch, looks up from laptop and says "What, you're not playing?" (confused look on her face as to what exactely all this chatter has been about.....)

Dumpling takes a liking to Herb

Dumpling requested Herb's presence *inside* the bouncy game on several occasions. She insisted on eating lunch next to him. She jumped on him in a shoe store and knocked him over. I think she likes him.....

Also, while we were in the yard watching the kiddos, a little boy from the house behind ours popped his head over the fence and asked if we could come over and bounce with us. Now, we have lived here for 6 years and have only spoken to this family on 3 occasions, always on Halloween. All I know about them, other than their kid goes to the same school as Dumpling (when she starts next year) is that they have a MASSIVE TV in their family room which is visible from ours. Dumpling watches Dora from our kitchen. And sometimes, when I go to bed at night and look over, I see some "adult entertainment" on their giant screen... Great, Herb brings over the Porn People......

on my way to the airport