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February 23, 2007



Oh, how scary for Dumpling and you too, of course. I'm sorry things are so hard for BB right now. I hope the couseling helps her and she can settle in with her Mommy. I can only imagine how much that must hurt your heart.


I am so sorry that you are dealing with this level of difficulties. No matter adopted or born to us, 2nd children rarely seem to follow the path that we are used to and seem determined to pull us out of our comfort zone, sometimes violently. I hope that the counselor is able to be of some help to you and to dumpling and that Beach Ball settles in to your family completely and soon. You are a very brave woman for staying positive throughout this. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to face that rejection from your child and I am in awe of how you seem to be doing it and even sharing it with us unflinchingly. You rock mama!


I'm so sorry for the trauma. Hopefully with some time and some therapy there will come a point where BB will realize that you aren't an enemy. Hugs to Dumpling. I'm sorry that she is so confused as to what is going on.


I love that your sense of humor is still intact, you need it for this really heavy kind of stuff.

I'm so glad you getting some help with this, I'm sure its going to pay off big time and once you get to see someone in person I think you'll feel way better about it all. I think the worst mistake people can make is to leave it too long to call in the cavalry.

Things are going to improve and whilst BB's love might be hard won she sounds like a girl who will love you with a passion once she feels safe and has worked out some of that understandable anger.

You guys are doing fabulously well in a very, very difficult situation, its super stressful for all of you. Especially hooray for Dumpling that girl is a trooper!

Do you see me cheering you on from afar? Go you!


I just remember after bringing my second daughter home how distracted I was with the gap in my expectations: that she was so "not #1" and I kept waiting for her to be "more #1." When I finally saw her and loved her for being exactly like #2, that was a big day, but it was a day 13 months after her adoption day, what should have been the big day in the fairy tale parenting book, but just wasn't. Every story is different, and just remember that you'll get through this and it will be all the more interesting in the retelling.
Stiff upper lip, Marji


Expectations are a bitch, aren't they? Yessirreebob


Thank you for raising that. It's hard to take when your precious causes injury, intentionally and unintentionally. My beloved bit me (with brand new teeth) and it hurt like the blazes (I thought I was missing a piece of flesh). In your circumstance add in the multiple layers of attahment, grief, new sounds, smells, etc, you have a recipe for vulnerability. But I hear love and resolve in your words. As my public health nurse said "asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness." Thank you for sharing because I hope peole reading it understand that you can get through it, and sometimes the best way through is with support and understanding and love. Hugs and warm thoughts, Pink

atomic mama

I'm just catching up after being away for a while... I am so sorry that y'all are going through this hurt, but I am glad to hear that help, hopefully, is on its way. Good wishes.

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