T-3 and counting: the To Do list

The Urbans will be arriving on Saturday. Over the last few weeks, they both have sent me several emails repeatedly telling me to

1. not go to any trouble
2. not make a fuss
3. let them know if we want them to reschedule, given Mortimer's Dad's health. 

They mentioned #3 several times and frankly, I think they were trying to get out of coming... Maybe their hastily made plans to come spend 4 days with us finally really hit them. But I wouldn't let them off the hook and I will be meeting them at the airport.

So now I must address #1 and 2. Given the Martha that lives in me, I did have a long To Do list, but because I'm tired and because they keep insisting they don't want us to go to any trouble, I have revised my objectives.

• I was going to make  my own lavender scented bathroom lotion and shampoo (hand labeled, of course) INSTEAD: I left them half empty bottles of Victoria's Secret So Sexy Shampoo which I got as a freebie, ironically, during our last meeting in Chicago last year.
• I was going to alphabetize the hidden porn collection, just in case Herb finds it, INSTEAD, well, let's face it, as the nice puppets of Avenue Q have thought us, "the Internet is for porn", so we don't actually have any.
• I was going to learn at least 10 non-cheese, non-meat recipes to regale them with, INSTEAD, spaghetti with tomato sauce! In a can! (OK, maybe I won't go that far....)
• I was going to create an instant toddler French immersion program so that Lil' Urban leaves here bilingual in only 4 days, INSTEAD, I got her a box of crayons and a French coloring book.
• I was going to find nice sleek blinds for the guest room, INSTEAD I will staple to dark fabric in front of the windows
• I was going to fix all the paint drips and do touch ups in the hastily painted guest bathroom, INSTEAD, I will let Herb embarrass me with cell-phone photos of the crappy paint job.

Finally, Mortimer's Dad is teaching Dumpling to call him Herb. I don't think I'm giving away state secrets when I tell you that Herb is in fact no his given name and that we are privy to his real name. But Mortimer's Dad thinks it will be funny if Dumpling just calls him Herb. I asked him what he would do if Lil Urban called him Mortimer's Dad..... I think he'd like us all to go by our blogging names!

Comments

[figlet]

I promise you, the Urbans are the easy kind of house guests. They stayed with us and even my craziness didn't seem to ruffle them. You will enjoy their company immensely, if you can stop chomping on the adorable Miss A.

[MissPinkKate]

You crack me up! You got kids and dogs and business and your husband just got out of the hospital, and you want to make your own shampoo! I'm a perfectly healthy single person, and I can't be bothered to pick up hairballs off the floor of my apartment. You're an inspiration :-D

[Herb]

FYI - the H in Herb is silent. Maybe it is an east coast thing, but I suspect it is more of an east coast Jewish thing. We do not pronounce our H's when they proceed vowels. Words like humid, human, herb all have a silent H in front. So, for Dumpling's sake and yours, I'm Urb Urban. That shouldn't be too much of a mouthful.

We can't wait to wear out our welcome! Seriously, we are not trying to back out. But, if it would be easier we can always.... Ok, I'll stop.

[Deanna]

And to add on Herb's note -- we're arriving Friday evening... We can still change plans...

Just a small correction :D

[Mrs Figby]

I'm so jealous! You guys have an awesome time together and be sure to tell us all about it so we can live vicariously.

[Melissa]

I'm sorry to say that my ticket for the Brawl in Montreal will go unused for this time. I have ducks to race and parades to judge for Canada Day....our paths are bound to cross at some time, though. Have great fun and take care.