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July 19, 2007

Comments

Natalie

Oh my, I'm laughing out loud here! We actually have a gay friend who's coming to Montreal for the week-end. It should be quite something... I have a great gay hairdresser if you want: he used to do Sarah McLachlan's hair, then moved here to open his own salon. You have him all to yourself when you see him: he works alone, and yes, he will tell you how fabulous you are! :o)

Herb

I'm sure you can find one at that he premiere of the Sex and The City movie when in comes to Montreal. Until then, Craigslist maybe?

Herb

Damn typos. That should read "I'm sure you can find one at the premiere of the ... ". I wish I could blame drunk blogging on my typos, but it is not even 5 p.m. yet.

I was thinking. Since I need a local dude for minor league games, maybe we could go in together on a bi sexual who liked to travel. It would help defray costs. Wait, if money is involved that would make him a paid escort. Crap. Never mind. Good luck with Gay Search '07.

figlet

You do realize that when you have a gay boyfriend, you will have fights with him? I have two in my life. One I had a falling out with but we have since (air) kissed and made up after not speaking for (sob) almost a year. The other one, well he's so cute and he buys Mogu stuff for LSP. But my #1, I mean who else can you send shopping for you at Boots in London to pick up a specific bath gel?

Mrs Figby

I had three Gays in college. They were like boyfriends in that I would be with one for a long time, and then we would grow apart or have a falling out, as Figlet mentioned, and then I'd get a new one. God, I miss them. They were all divine.

It ended when I got married. Not only did I have a painful breakup with my pre-marriage Gay, but I moved away. (Sigh.) So yeah, I totally get what you're saying.

Johnny

I wonder if there is a parallel universe where some gays sit around saying they some straights to hang with?

OmegaMom

I'm going to try to be as polite as possible.

(Not just for MM, but for all): Try replacing every single instance of "Gays" in the post and comments with "blacks" or "Asians". Then replace every single instance of "good taste" or "shopping" with "sense of rhythm" or "wicked good with math and the violin".

Just because people say things meant as compliments doesn't mean it isn't perceived as offensive.

lisa

Thanks Omegamom-you voiced my thoughts exactly, but I was concerned that it might be perceived as an attack for me to mention it-though I did wonder if Johnny was tring to subtly suggest it. My closest "gay" friend-though I had to think about it for a split second since I don't identify my friends that way-was just appointed by the governor to one of the most powerful positions in the state-he is unlikely to ever notice what I look like and definitely doesn't have an expertise in buying bath gel. He and his partner are good friends due to several common interests, including being from the same part of the country (where none of us live now) and having huge vegetable gardens. ~lmc

mortimersmom

wow a flame war (no pun intended).
I could go on and on to explain to you where I'm coming from, but really, what's the point? I wrote what I wrote and I stand by it 100%. There still has to be room for humor in this world and as long as gay men themselves go around calling themselves a Main Gay, a Gay BFF, etc, then I don't see anything wrong with using that word. It's a caricature of a certain type of person, it doesn't emcompass all homosexuals.
And people, I'm not really sitting at home searching the internet for a way to meet a gay sidekick. Come on! Lighten up or move along!

lisa

Internet communication is a funny thing. I put a lot of thought into respectfully disagreeing, and I'm sorry it was perceived as a flame. Far from being uptight, I am just returning from my noon hour yoga retreat;) While I am sure that "some gay men" use those phrases, I don't think "gay men themselves" as a "class" do. Words can be hurtful, and they can also be dangerous in that they perpetuate stereotypes. Since I think that we have both had the experience (though I could be wrong) of being told to "lighten up" when we try to tell people that not all Chinese people are smart and not all Chinese girls are beautiful or something along those lines, I am failing to grasp the difference between the two situations.
I guess I am also confused because you seem to be referring to some special relationships in your past, and to suggest that "replacing" them with someone else who is gay will recreate that relationship, seems to trivialize the friendship. I have had great friendships that were somewhat unique because the friend was from a different culture, and so yes, though that wasn't the premise, it was a component of the relationship. I don't think that I can recreate it by finding another Chinese Jamaican American friend though-because the new person would still be a separate individual.
Anyway, I am so not interested in debating, and I am so so sorry if you felt attacked. I was only trying to voice what your comments brought up for me in a thoughtful way. ~lmc

bec

For what it's worth, Lisa, I felt it was clear in your original comment that you were taking great pains to be respectful. This second comment goes further to extend what is meant to be a reasoned discussion of the issue. Your points are valid, and I hope everyone can accept them as such without feeling personally attacked.

mortimersmom

I guess the part where I referred to Professional Gays, people paid to suck up to you...... that would point out how trivial the whole thing is. But thank you for pointing out to me how I should stay away from stand up comedy. If anyone is interested, Kathy Griffin starts every single show with "Where are my Gays at?" Maybe you want to write to her to and tell her how wrong and offensive she is....

Herb

I don't think anyone is suggesting gays are an homogeneous group. I've had my share of gay friends and co-workers, and of course no two people are alike period. But I think there is a gay sub culture of guys with heterosexual female friends that does resemble Stanford Blatch from SATC, or even Bobby Trendy in the extreme.

Arguably, it is over exaggerated and over represented in TV and movies. However, I don't think it is offensive to acknowledge its existence, or joke about it in a lighthearted way as MM and others have.

mortimersmom

All I'll say is this: you guys are trying to have a serious discussion about stereotypes. I write a stupid blog about stupid things. I don't think my stupid blog is the place to be having this discussion. I was trying to be funny, you didn't like it. Sorry.

Melissa

Woah! Chill! I thought it was funny.

NYC Sassy

First of all your blog is NOT stupid. It is very entertaining and insightful and good fun to read. I read it like I read Perez Hilton and Gawker and other fun blogs. With a glass of wine and an open mind;-)

Secondly, everyone should be so lucky as to have a gay. That is my personal opinion..and There is nothing wrong with saying it out loud and proud. And my gay would be the first to tell you to shout it from the rooftops honey!

Why would anyone get upset that you want a gay friend? Would they prefer you said "I want a friend but hell-to-the-no will I have a gay friend" I think that would warrant a comment and a stern wag of the finger!

i think it is very open minded and cosmopolitan of you to recognize the fabulosity of the gays (pun intended on the cosmo reference ;-)

You said something sassy and provocative and it was damn funny. And true to boot!
I hope you find your gay soon - your gay would have been firing off emails left and right about how everyone needs to chill and just dance it out ;-)

Ali

Oh, I relate. Ever since I moved out of the city I have been looking in vain for a gay friend! It's very lonely to be heterosexual, female and without a gay.

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