color and money

When I get bummed out, like I have been feeling these past few weeks, I take on a DYI project. Feeling frustrated? Bang on something! Feeling angry? Destroy something! Feeling blue and down? Throw some orange and magenta on the walls! Since I have banished orange and magenta from the blog, I decided to throw it up all over the walls of the guest rooms at the Kibbutz.  The details are over at Ubercrafty.

(In case you decide to skip the long narrative over there, let me just point out that those are TWO different rooms! I haven't completely lost my mind!) Also, mom and dad... Surprise! "your" room has been painted!

Now, onto a more serious topic... something that has been on my mind for a long time, ironically, probably since I first blogged about the Kibbutz... Back in the day, oh, 2 years ago now, when we first purchased our cottage, I got a troll dissing me. I don't remember the details, but it was mainly about the size of our second home, and basically, about the fact that we have money and how we chose to spend it..... Since I have been blogging, there have been very few taboos around here. I have blogged about every aspect of my life, my husband, my kids, my in-laws, heck, I've blogged about my period! But for some reason, whenever I blog about something remotely to do with our finances, I thread very lightly..... Even mentioning that we went to China in first class, with paid tickets, not on points, seemed to be taboo.... I didn't want to attract the attention.....

As some of you are aware, a troll struck a very good friend of mind yesterday. No need for links, either you know or you don't know. There was even a second comment about yet another friend's vacations.... The woman is a TRAVEL AGENT! If she's not going to take fabulous vacations, who is? And you know what, even if she wasn't a travel agent......

Here is the thing.... I live a more than comfortable life. We are on easy street so to speak. Why should I be ashamed of that? Why should I not blog about buying a Kate Spade bag, or staying at a 5 star hotel when I travel, in first class? Anyone who has read me knows I still buy my stuff on the sale rack at the GAP because up until I married, I didn't have money. So I do know the value of a dollar. I go to work, I run a company. I could sit at home and go to yoga. Scratch that. I could sit at home and make yoga come to me, like every other yummy-mummy on my street. I could hire a nanny to move in and take care of the children so I wouldn't have to bother with them. But I don't. So when I do go out and splurge on a pair of shoes, or a dress, or a cottage, I want to blog about it. And I don't want to attract the ire of trolls!

My second daughter just started nursery school this year. Same school my first daughter attended, mostly all the same families. But this year, there is a little girl there, the daughter of one of the richest families in the country. A well-known family, a family that has businesses and charities named after them. This little girl gets brought to school every day by her assigned nanny. Her sibling has a different nanny. The nanny doesn't walk over to the school. They are driven, by a driver, who is not assigned to the parents, only to the children. Everyday, I am sort of stunned by it. Not because of the expense, but to me, if you are going to be that rich, wouldn't you want to free yourself up and spend every second you can with your kid? But see, that's the thing... that's just ME! And I'm not going to hold it against them! Are they supposed to apologize for being rich? They are generous, they give away plenty, so who am I to judge? (Though I must admit, watching the nanny and bodyguard/driver go apple picking with the kid was pretty freaking hilarious! I wanted to blog about it at the time, but I realized, it wasn't my place.)

So here is the thing. I have money. Some of my friends have money, some don't. If someone wants to blog about their shoes, their vacations, their handbags, they should be able to, without fear of judgment. Because the alternative is communism... that's the only way to be fair to everyone... yeah, I didn't think you'd go for that......

Comments

[Melissa]

I bet the richie riches don't do their own decorating either. What FUN do they have? I'm with you! What good is it to be rich when you don't do have time to do the fun stuff (or even know that decorating and spending time with your kids IS fun!) When I get rich, I'm flying you to NB to spin your decorating magic in my house..lol. I especially LOVE the birds! Can't believe that's wrapping paper, wow...great thinking!

[Karyn]

I'm starting to wonder if it is a reaction to the destruction of a fantasy; after all if you have money doesn't everything else just fall into place? What I'll never get is why would anyone waste their time reading a blog that makes them crazy let alone respond with a comment. I can barely comment on the blogs that I LIKE.

Very cool rooms in the Kibbutz. I so wish I had a crafty/creative bone in my body. My one color splurge is that our living/dining room is a beeswax yellow and I have a very funky (but oh how I love it) fabric on our little sofa. It is red/orange, green, a similar yellow, with cranes and pomegranate trees. And why am I telling you this....?

Karyn

[MissPinkKate]

You go girl. You do not have to justify what you want to write about on your site- it's YOUR site! I read personal sites because I want to be able to dive into that writer's personal world view- whatever it may be, particularly if they are candid and self-reflective (as you so often are you!) If trolls don't want to read it, they can take it elsewhere. The internet is a big place!

[Dee]

I say as long as you didn't steal your money then don't be ashamed about spending your coins on anything you want. Now if you feel guilty enough to want to give away your Kate Spade I will email you my address:-D I am (well was I just quit to go to grad school full time) a Social Worker which is a field that has a lot of rewards but money is not one of them and I would get comments about my purses or sweaters and yeah they are designer and no I didn't pay full price and I earned the money so go about your day.

Also please come live with me the next time you want to do a DIY project because my entire house qualifies as a project:)

[susan]

I think its lovely you have money for your needs and to have fun and live a comfortable life. What's ugly is that people would begrudge you that. Even though I can't purchases some of the things you do, I love reading about about your newest pair of Campers—or when you bought the hot jeans. I may not be able to afford those things right now, but quite possibly one day I will.

And then I'll fight you for the of-the-moment Kate Spade bag. ;o)

[Johnny]

Troll jealousy is the worst.

The easiest ways to take care of trolls is to bitch-slap their comments into the ether. That way, what's the point of leaving mean comments when no one will ever read them?

Rock on!

[Kim O]

Have you seen the new birdie bedding in Pottery Barn Kids? Reminds me of your magenta bedroom. I love that bedding!

[Michelle]

I LOVE those colors. I think my Sophie's room might have to have at least one of them in it. I think it's sad that you have to censor what you write because of how others might judge you. I don't have any money. I live in an apartment. The only way we can afford this adoption is through generous monetary gifts from both my Dad and my sister. But it doesn't "bother" me at all to read about other blogger's vacations, or second homes, or fancy dinners out. Because it is none of my business! In fact, I like reading about these things because in a way I feel like I can live vicariously through you(Is that sad? I hope not). The only reason I can figure for people to be so judge mental is that they are jealous. Plain and simple. And if reading about other people's good fortune bothers them, then maybe they should stop reading!

[mijk]

Girl don't let them get to you!!!

[Herb]

The guest rooms at the Kibbutz look even more stylish than your basement, which was a 5 star retreat in bright orange and Bob Costas autographed photos.

Screw the trolls. Even with the writers strike, surely people have better things to do with their time then instigate flame wars on personal blogs.

[courtney]

I was wondering if your troll was the same as your friend's troll. It isn't just on blogs - money is sort of this taboo topic with a lot of people. I'm sorry you feel censored but I enjoy reading about your life, ALL of it, especially the part with those gorgeous walls. YOU are amazing. I've had the January doldrums myself, even here in sunny Israel, and what have I done? Eaten a lot of cookies and felt sorry for myself. You have made two rooms totally gorgeous. I'm off to check out your craft blog now.

[paige]

I've always assumed you were the Princess of Kibbutzvania. Carry on, my lady!

[michele]

I ran a financial website and closed it for this very reason.
Jealous trouble makers.
"oh you cant be financially smart if you buy Pottery Barn " bla bla bla

I also notice some of my favorite blogs did not post about their childs Christmas.
I wondered if some jealous troll commented...?

I think some folks just wanna feel superior.
It seems to be a crime to be raised dirt poor and now have earned a better life.

Michele

[Amyesq]

Those rooms! Oh my gosh, they just make me happy looking at them! You are magic and I am in awe, mostly because I haven't a creative bone in my body.

As for blogging about the fun stuff you do with your money, I love to read it! Your blog, your topic, trolls be damned!

[JoAnn in NJ]

Hey MM,
I love your new rooms!
As for the trolls, I don't get them at my blog, hopefully I won't ever.

There will always be people with more money and people with less money than I have. It's what I've chosen to do with my life that matters most to me. And how I give back to the world.

What I like about the bloggers I read best are that we share the same values. Such as children and adoption. I'm not the Prada shoe type, but I do love a good handbag when I can get my hands on one.

When I find I am mistaken and I don't share the same values as bloggers I read, I just don't read them anymore.

So, trolls, if you don't like what you read...then go away and don't read here anymore!

[Julie]

I think the fact that someone goes through the trouble of creating an anonymous account in order to diss someone else's life choices speaks badly not of the blogger but very much of the troll poster... how sad a life must one have to resent a perfect stranger's lifestyle that much!

Julie

[Bug's mama]

Delurking to say kudos for standing up for your friend and for not being ashamed to be comfortable in your own skin. Some have it, some don't and it's no one's right to say what one deserves/doesn't deserve. Enjoying your writing again!

[Spacemom]

Listen- Trolls are people with out the Chutzpah to stand up and say things with their names attached.

If you were saying you can't afford to buy your kids shoes and then bought a second house, that's one thing. Being financially comfortable or more is not something to be ashamed of. Money in American/Candian culture is a taboo subject. I have never figured out why. It just is...

If you have it, do what you want....

[beverly]

Why should it be anyone's business?

Beverly

[beverly]

Or let me rephrase,why should it be a troll's business?