How to make sure you drive your kids mad

There is a reason for this virtual life archive... So that I can look back and avoid doing stupid things. Case in point: Next year, on the last Sunday before Passover, someone remind me to read this entry, OK? Because for the second year in a row, I made the mistake of going to the grocery store on the last Sunday morning before Passover. And this time, I had the girls with me. And not the husband.....

The store was packed with crazed matzo-seeking lunatics. Most people had 2 carts. And the 60-something men pushing the second cart had clearly not been to the grocery store in a year. Sheer madness!

Try to get two kids and a cart through the ceiling high mountain of matzo, surrounded by women clutching lists, men parked wherever they pleased and little old ladies with "helpers" trying to plan a menu for 25 when they have no teeth left to chew... (let me help: Matzo ball soup. It's the friendly food.)

Then, because clearly I was trying to ensure my daughters would be crazed and tantrum-prone for the rest of the day, I dragged them to the Kosher butcher. I am not in need of Passover meat, as we will be in Florida and Hub's step-mother is already on top of the meat order down there, but I am in fact hosting the second Seder (only one third of the family, no biggy) so I needed to buy one red meat and one poultry selection. I am no making Brisket, so I opted for Miami Ribs. Except there were none. And I asked the butcher if he had any in the back, and he replied that yes, he did.

Well, he was lying. He had meat that could be cut into Miami Ribs. It took 35 min. With two kids, standing in front of the chicken fridge, constantly in the way of the other shoppers who were piling meat up in their carts. I wanted to leave, but the butcher made it clear that he was already running low on "good" cuts and if I didn't wait, I would end up with chicken breasts for my Seder....

So we waited and took many, many 2$ rides on the stupid Schmall carousel. And I got into a fight with a mother who was too cheap to pay for her own rides, but kept insisting that my kids switch seats "to keep it fair". Lady, fair would have been you chipping in at least once! I have no problem with kids filling up the empty seat (it rides 3) but don't make my kids sit in the stupid boat instead of the car and horse! I paid, we pick.

So yeah, next year, on the last Sunday before Passover, when I think it would be a good time to run to the Schmall to pick up a few things, somebody please send me the link to this page!

Comments

[Elizabeth]

Next year I'm suggesting you take the passover cruise!!

[Journeywoman]

Well, it's supposed to be Next Year In Jerusalem, right?

Miami ribs sounds GREAT. Post the recipe sometime, will you? I need something else besides brisket for my seders.

Happy passover.

[Justine]

tee hee... yes not a good plan! As I was reading your post in bloglines and in my head I though I clicked on someone elses blog and I was thinking to myself, gee I didn't she was Jeweish, I didn't that shopping in southern California could be so tough... I thought it was still her blog until I clicked through to comment and discovered that I am still sleeping - it makes so much more sense NOW. I think maybe I should be back to bed. Happy Passover and have a good trip.

[Jodes]

oh we too did the grocery store with both kids yesterday. where they were promptly almost run over by the cart-pushing-guys. hubs has never been to that store before and he was amazed. i was drained. how do you make miami ribs? would love the recipe!

[Herb]

Gotta love the Schmall. You'll need to make a short documentary of that place with your camcorder one day to capture the excitement. I miss the kosher Pirate Shop.

[Kikilia]

What are Miami ribs? I've never heard of them.

Happy Passover and enjoy your trip.

[Susan]

Sounds like something I would do too!