Gal Pals

I have blogged in the past about having a hard time making friends. I used to have a few very good friends in college, but we all studied languages, and when you are fluent in many languages, you end up quite mobile. I was gone from my city for many years, and by the time I settled back here, most of my friends were gone, with one or two exceptions. But then, I became the married one, the one with a kid, and again, it seemed hard to keep friendships alive when people are at different stages in their professional/family life.

I tried several times to begin new friendships, only to find it was very hard. The one exception was the Amazing D and her husband A. We became friends over the soup chapter of the charity cookbook and they were the closest people to us when Dumpling arrived. But again, work/family took them to another city and we keep in touch electronically, but it's just not the same.

As a mom, I tried playgroups. There were mostly a disaster. I did know a couple of other moms who were fun, easy going and low maintenance, but the rest of the moms around here are very much cut from the Yummy Mummy mold. I am not. So either they get on my nerves or I irritate them. Either way, it doesn't work.

When Dumpling started school, I did meet several great moms. Some of them I definitely consider friends.  We get together on occasion, but our bond is mostly our children, we don't have much in common as far as interests and likes.

Then, there are my bloggy friends. Clearly, it's easier to make friends online, because you become close to people who you get along with, who are like you or think like you or don't think like you but challenge you in some way. And then, even those friendships sometimes don't work out, and somehow, that hurts even more. But some friendships are real, and solid. And you go on trips with those gals.

Anyhow.... a few months ago, L, this super-cute-bubbly mom at BB's nursery school and asked me if I had heard about R's knitting group on Wednesday mornings. I happen to know R, we have older kids in the same class and she is SUPER crafty so we have crossed paths before. I told L, whom I had never spoken to before, that I hadn't heard of the knitting group but would in fact be interested. I hadn't knitted in a while, but the thought of getting together with other moms and knitting was interesting to me. I must admit, I was nervous beyond belief. Would they like me? Would I like them?

I went a couple of times and I have to say, I liked them right away. Eventually, we decided to stop meeting at R's house and move to a coffee house, so make the logistics simpler: so matter what, on Wednesday morning, we would meet up at the spot from 9 to 11 and knit. I haven't missed a week, except when I went to Texas. They are great. Every one is a little different. But they are all fascinating. And definitely low maintenance and crafty and intelligent. I look forward to Wednesday mornings. I work my schedule around it, to make sure I am not needed at work, at school, etc. Nothing comes in the way of the knitting group. I'm even knitting a nice sweater! But that's just a by product.

Comments

[Stacey T]

That is so awesome. It takes a big leap of faith to put yourself out there and into a group like that, because what if you had gone the first time and hated it? How would you explain not going back!! Does your group have a name like Stitch and Bitch? Or Knit with Wit? HAHA

[Shelba]

Ohh, that sounds like fun. I need to find me a fun knitting group. I love to sit, knit and talk. Good times. I'm glad you found this little group.

[spacemom]

I am jealous. I wish I could meet more female adult friends.

[susan]

I also have a difficult time making friends. I don't think I'm hard to get along with or get to know, just that the people I choose to be friends with—I want to have a genuine connection with. Sometimes thats not as easy to find.

[Jo]

My friends history is very similar. And my really good RL friends live on mainland Europe. Your knitting group sounds fun. I've lived in this town for six years and I've still to find an equivalent. You're inspiring me to try harder.

[Katie J]

I have a knitting group and that is probably the thing I miss most over here in Belgium. In fact I just e-mailed my knitting buddies (we have a google group) to let them know if they just moved here, I could easily live here for a much longer period of time. These women are amazing and I think everyone should have such friends. I make friends fairly easily, but people who I feel close to are few and far between. Glad you found some buds, 'cause your a fun chick!

[Magi]

I'm jealous, too. I've moved so much in my life that my closest friends aren't that close anymore. Distance and time have taken their toll. I've lived in northern Indiana for nine years now, and though I have friends, there isn't anyone that I'd consider a true best friend.

I miss having close girl friends, but seem to have lost the ability to "find" them.

It sounds like you've found a great group. Enjoy them!

[wendy]

That sounds like fun. It's hard to nurture friendships when everyone's lives get in the way, so it's nice you found a little group that is committed to meeting weekly.

[Jessie Mae]

Oh! I completely get this! I've had such a hard time making friends, especially since I moved from Chicago to Los Angeles. My knitting group, which I was so scared to go to the first time, has ended up being my most consistent and supportive social outlet. It's one of the main things that makes living in L.A. a livable situation for me.

[Beverly]

glad you found your group. always good to have friends. show the sweater on the blog. might inspire others.

[A]

my first time reading the blog and i practically have a starring role! (yes i'm in the knitting group)

[joybucket]

Oh, how truly wonderful. There's nothing better than a friendship among women. It's like a long cool drink for a weary soul. I think that's a Proverb but it's referring to good news although one could argue that true friendship is like good news.

[elaine]

Jealous, jealous, jealous - that's me. My only companion in knitting is my i-pod. Enjoy!!