Mortimer's Mom

See You Next Year!

Oh Relax! I mean on Thursday.

It's Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year. What can I say? I am very happy to see 5768 go. It sucked. And to end on a high note, the OTHER store got broken into on Friday night, once again they took only the 200$ worth of change in the cash, but broke the computer and printer in yanking it out, and drilled the lock, so I spent the night waiting for a locksmith rather than a window guy this time....

So yeah. So long 5768. Here's hoping 5769 brings us (and you guys)  better health, a bit of peace at home and work, and just better days all around.

Shana Tova to you and yours.

Alternative medicine, for real this time!

The last 10 days have kicked my ass. I am stressed, run down, have a cold, and am overall, a mess. Last week, I came down with another UTI. The 4th time I take Cipro this year, when you combine the kidney infections.

At the recommendation of a friend, I went to see her Homeopath yesterday. I had been to a naturopath once and I have been to acupuncture several times in my life, but this was my first ever visit with a homeopath. She was very nice and took a very long, very detailed medical history. I wanted to make my kidneys/bladder better. But she was concerned about my B12 levels (I have had to take shots in the past), my iron levels, my hormones (hello! can't get pregnant!). In the end, I came away with a BOX FULL of granules and drops. It's so freaking complicated. A bunch are 3 times per day, some are morning and night, 2 are once a day, and the hormone-related ones are once a week... you shoudl see the freaking chart she made for me. Actually, what you should really see is the bill!

I am giving it 3 months. I think that is a decent amount of time to see if it will make me feel any better. Some of these things are not meant to be taken for a long time, just to sort of fix me up for now. Some like the hormone-related ones would be a weekly thing for as long as needed. We'll see. I'm keeping an open mind. And an open wallet.

Alternative medicine: Gerrard, Jim and Sheryl

Long ago, we bought tickets for last night's Sheryl Crow concert. The plan was that M. would come spend the evening with the girls and we would have a night out. When MD got sick, we weren't so sure we would still go. But clearly, the girls were in need of a dose of the Amazing M. so we asked her to come anyways. MD had a very restful weekend and was now suffering from a severe case of cabin fever. So we took a big chance and chose to go to the concert anyways, though I made him promise not to yell or sing. This was going to be hard for him, because the opening act was actually the reason we were going to the show in the first place, Jim Cuddy, of Blue Rodeo, was opening for Sheryl Crow. And the IVs were perfectly timed to be right before and right after the concert,though we did skip the encore.

I ended up taking out my Gerrard Darel, Paris-bought leather jacket out for the first time and off we went. It was a very quiet night for us, we sat nicely in our seats and clapped politely. There was no dancing in the aisle or screamign at the top of our lungs, and there was most certainly no hanging by the stage doors to get back stage.

But thanks to Gerrard and Jim and Sheryl, and of course, to the Amazing M., we all got a dose of some alternative medecine: a little fun!

Coming Along

I would say today was a good day. There were moments, but all in all, I'll stay positive and say it was a good day.

Yesterday was not a good day, at least not for me. I woke up and knew I was coming down with a flu, or the last week had kicked my ass. Either way, I had fever and chills, scratchy throat and just felt like crap. I tried to get through breakfast, but the thought of entertaining the kids on my own just seemed impossible. So I called in the reinforcements, aka my parents, and pronto, they whisked the girls off to a fantastic day of playing outside and a picnic in a park. I stayed in my pajamas all day and slept like I haven't slept in along time. In the afternoon, I went to pick the girls back up and we had a quick pasta dinner. When they went to bed at 7:30, so did I!

Today though, I woke up feeling much, much better. And when the phone rang mid-morning and a family from school was inviting us to join them at the local farm to get some apples, I took them up on their offer. The girls had a great time, since they each had a friend their age to play with. and J. their dad was more than willing to pick the girls up and stick them in the trees so they could grab the good apples. He's gonna have a sore back tomorrow!

On a completely unrelated topic, I can turn ANYTHING into a craft. My husband's IV wire is a bit long to be able to hook up to the bottles himself. But it dangles there and it gets caught in everything. They give him burn netting, but it gets nasty and dirty and stretched out on the first day. So, I present to you, homemade IV sleeves:

And now, in actually important, breaking bloggy news.... My buddy Mrs. Figby has been keeping a secret. Another blog. But now she's decided to let the world know. So if you've been wondering how she's doing, please visit her at Halcyon Mama (which by the way, I had to look up on Google, because I didn't know what it was....)

Xtreme Emotions

I had thought about keeping this on the quiet side, but I think it might be good to put this out there for other families who might be dealing with something similar. I know we are not the only adoptive family that has a parent with health issues and the way the kids react can be very.... interesting...

BB has been a puddle of sadness. From the moment he got dropped off at the hospital, she was upset. She remembered the building from last year (1 year and 3 months ago, when she had been home less than 5 months... clearly huge impact on her) and was very upset: "I don't want Daddy to sleep there!" While he was gone, she was very quiet and kind of sad all the time, but she would light up during visits to see him. She's very talkative and expresses her feelings very well, so she asked A LOT of questions. "Why Daddy go to hospital? Why Daddy need special medicine? Why Daddy cough all the time?" The 20 min ride back from the hospital to the house was just one Why after the other. But at least she was able to say things like "I miss Daddy. I don't want Daddy to be sick. I'll be very nice and Daddy will get better"

When he came home, she was overjoyed. Couldn't get enough hugs and kisses. But now, she won't leave his side. I noticed yesterday morning she was very reluctant to go to school, but since it was the first day, he actually rode in the car with us and waited while I brought the girls inside. Today he stayed home to rest. BB was NOT happy. On the way there she complained about which streets I took ("this is NOT Daddy's way! I wanna go Daddy's way!") and she refused to get out of the car. On any other day, there would have been plenty of Dumpling's schoolmates arriving at the same time and I could have sent her in with a friend, but of course, this had to be the day where everyone arrived very early or very late and no one was there to walk her in. So I literally dragged a screaming-crying-kicking BB into the school and dropped Dumpling off.

Foolishly, I attempted to bring BB to her class. (permission to laugh at me now) She was having none of it. "I wanna go home to DADDY!" The teachers, who are all aware of the situation, offered to give it a try, so I left her (again, permission to laugh at me granted). I didn't make it to the front door. You could hear her from outside the building. It was the scariest screaming I have heard since the day we met her in China and the day she tried to rip my nose off after coming home. I was not leaving her.

So I ran back in, picked up a puddle of tears from the ground and rushed her home to Daddy's arms. We were in dire need of some essentials like toilet paper, so I quickly ran some errands and returned home to find her drawing pictures for Daddy. But he looked very tired, so I asked her if maybe, just maybe, she wanted to go back to school. Surprisingly, she agreed as long as Daddy drove her. So he rode in the car again and waited outside, but this time she went in willingly. Hopefully she'll stay for the entire time and I won't get a call to rush back.

At then other end of the spectrum, you have Dumpling. Dumping is not good with expressing her feelings. She doesn't differentiate between anger and sadness and fear and frustration. It all comes out as anger. She was happy to see him home... for about 15 minutes. And then, she immediately became angry at me. Screaming, yelling, kicking, biting, anything you can imagine. Everything bothers her: the light isn't right, the food is too hot or too cold, I'm not holding the doll correctly, this is not the shirt she wants to wear. But she doesn't know what is "right". Everything is just "wrong". And if I try to guess how to do something, inevitably, I will do the wrong thing and set her off.

We placed a quick call to the therapist who recommended asking her to draw pictures of her feelings. We were able to get her to admit she was sad and scared about Daddy being sick and away, but in the end, it all came back to her being angry at me. About what, I'm not sure. Maybe she thinks it's my fault, or maybe she's mad that I can't fix it. We haven't gotten that far yet.... But man, she's pissed off. At least, she likes school and it acts as a big stabilizer for her, but the instant she sees me at pick up, the emotions well up and she has a fit. But the time we get home, she's out of control.

We are taking it very much one day at a time. But I'm frustrated. I don't really know how to make it better for them. And people seem to think that because he's home everything is fine. Trust me when I tell you, it's not.

cautiously optimistic

He's home.  We are awaiting a very large delivery of IV medicines and the regimen will be.... Intensive! But it's managable, there are none in the middle of the night, and they switched one to pills, so we should be able to get it all done.

He's very happy and is convinced he is out of the woods. I am more guarded. I am thrilled he is home, I just hope I can keep him rested and not let him do too much. He's already eager to walk the dogs, which I have X-nayed for the near future. I want everything to go smoothly, I'm just a little cautious. Last time he ended up going back in, I don't want that to happen this time.

But for now, I'll just be happy we are all under one roof.

breaking news: I took a shower

I know, not the news you were waiting for. But trust me when I tell you, me, showering, is monumental. I don't know how single parents ever get clean. Since Satruday, it's been "one thing at a time, the kids come first" and personal hygiene has fallen to a post-China all time low.

I have had to get up extra early to manage lunches and getting everyone to school on time, then spending the morning at the hospital and the afternoon with the girls, I didn't particularly feel like a shower at 8 pm. As a matter of fact, I went to bed at 9 every night.

But this afternoon, I convinced Dumpling she needed an ipod break before going to her gymnastics class, and while she was goodhooked on some Disney-crack, I managed to take a shower AND cover the suddenly-numerous grey hairs that have come out.

So I showered. It was the most necessary, most luxurious shower in the history of showers, except maybe for those 2 first-home-from-China showers. And I attended a parent-info evening and didn't have to sit in the last row away from everyone for fear they would smell me. And I put on clean, somewhat cute clothes. And I ate real food for the first time in 4 days (chicken breast and rice, microwaved, from the kosher deli. no exactely haute cuisine, but a major step up in my diet of Lattes and baby carrots)

Update

first of all, THANK YOU, for the emails and the text messages.... they really help, especially when the kids have gone to bed and I'm left alone to think about the here and now, the future, all the what-ifs... It can get pretty overwhelming, so it's good to read your messages. Thank You. I really really would like to thank each of you personally, and if I can find time I will, but as you can imagine, time is not something I've got a lot of to spare right now, so for the time being, please accept this as my semi-personal thank you.

Mortimer's Dad is better. He can now talk without starting a coughing fit that will leave him blue in the face. He's still far from being all good, but he's ok. Today, they put in the pic-line, which should allow him to continue treatment at home later this week, if they can find a drug combination that works against his infection AND can be administered at home. The drugs aren't all compatible with the home-care setting, so we have to wait and see if they can work out a combination that works and that is manageable for us to administer (for example, right now he is on 3 different antibotics that each run for over an hour, 4 times a day. Do the math, I'd have to be up around the clock to change bottles. At least in the hospital, the nurses take care of that around the clock)

I was there for the picline insertion. I've always been there, because it's the CF nurse practitioner that puts it in and sometimes, they need an extra hand to do things on the periphery of the sterile field, like tie the gown in the back or release the turniquet while they are inserting the line. It's NEVER bothered me before. But today, I was wearing a sweater, we were in an very stuffy room, with the curtain drawn around us and I was wearing a mask. I happened to look down in the 3 seconds were it's kinda gory.... And then I became totally flushed, light-headed and wanted to throw up. But I still had to release the turniquet! I held onto the side of the bed for dear life, but I just knew I was going to pass out if I stayed, so I sat on the bed on the other side of the curtain and somehow, Mortimer's Dad was able to releqase the turniquet with his other hand. I was too busy taking deep breaths (ironic!) and hoping I wouldn't pass out!

So for now, I wake up extra early to pack luches, try as I might, I just cannot get the hang of doing them the night before. Then we hussle through breakfast and get to school The girls have been surprisingly cooperative, not arguing with each other and gettign through the morning as fast as possible. BB is having a hard time. She misses him tremendously, keeps asking over and over (and over!) why he has to do the medicine at the hospital and not at home. And she keeps peeing in her pants at school. But the teachers she has this year were also Dumpling's teachers the last time he was in the hospital, so they are being extra nice to her, changing her as often as necessary and insisting that I keep on bringing her, because if I had to keep her home in the morning, it would be a disaster.

Then I spend the morning at the hospital visiting and brining eadible food (mental note: with the cut backs, if you ask for Kosher food, you get eggs for every meal. cold, jellied eggs... gross) and then I got back in the afternoon with the girls for a very brief visit because they really aren't supposed to be there.

Hopefully he can come home in a day or two, though he will still have to have serious treatments at home, at least having him here would make everyone feel so much better.

Admitted

He went in for the morning treatment and they admitted him. He's not coming home for a few days. I have 5 hours to figure out how to tell the kids...

Email on the go, sent by TELUS

What a way to spend a saturday night

Sitting on a folding chair in the treatment room of the ER, watching the IV drip connected to Hubs' arm.... He got what seemed like a cold yesterday but was much worst this morning. We had already arranged to have the girls go play at my parents for the afternoon, so on the way there, he asked me to drop him off at the ER. Very out of carachter t, I usually have to drag him there against his will. Long story short, he has to come in two hours twice a day for IV antibiotic and monday afternoon he'll get a pic line so he can do the rest of the 10 to 14 have day treatment at home. That will teach me to whine about closets...

Email on the go, sent by TELUS